Lost and Afraid
by AngedelaMorte
Summary: Tormented Harry rescued from an abusive Dursley household by a mysterious character. My take on a Severitus fic. Read and review! Warning mentions of child abuse. Slight (VERY SLIGHT) HD
1. Default Chapter

Lost and Afraid  
  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. If it looks familiar it probably isn't mine.  
  
Warning: This contains some major Order of the Phoenix spoilers. If you haven't read it yet, I would recommend you don't read this.  
  
Author's Note: This is the only beta-ed chapter... I'll work through all of them sometime.   
  
'means thoughts'   
  
       The stars shown brightly above Number 4 Privet Drive and sky was clear. Inside the smallest bedroom of Number 4 Privet Drive there lay a boy sleeping, fitfully.  
  
Harry's eyes fluttered before he began to speak, "No, don't kill him. Sirius. No!" he yelled; effectively waking himself up. His eyes darted around the room. 'Uncle Vernon is going to be so mad,' Harry thought.  
  
Just then, Vernon stormed into the room. "Boy," Harry flinched, "You and your freakishness are disturbing my family." Vernon said as he tossed Harry around like a doll.  
  
Blackness crept to the edges of Harry's vision. 'I think this is it,' he thought, 'at least I'll see Sirius.'  
  
       Harry's thoughts were interrupted when Vernon Dursley slugged him in the gut. "Freakish boy," he muttered then left the room.  
  
       Harry shook when Vernon left and came back with a knife. "Got to drain the freakish-ness out of you boy." Vernon dragged the edge of the blade across Harry's body. "Where to prick you..." he muttered, "Maybe we'll have some fun tonight," Vernon said as he unbuckled his pants.  
  
Harry's whimpered pathetically before he began to scream.  
  
His screams fell onto no ears.   
  
        
  
This summer at Privet Drive had been the worst by far. Two days after the end of term an owl dropped a letter off at Number 4. Presuming it was his, Harry opened it:  
  
Mr. and Mrs. Vernon Dursley.  
  
First if all, my condolences to Mr. Harry Potter's godfather, Sirius Black. Recent evidence has come about proving the man's innocence. Sadly, he died a couple weeks ago at the hand of Lord Volde-Thingie.  
  
A funeral service and the reading of the will will be held tomorrow. We hope Mr. Potter will be able to attend.  
  
Also, there will be no trial regarding a Mr. Cedric Diggory's death last year. It was proven that he did die from the Killing Curse that was not fired from Mr. Potter's wand.  
  
Again, my condolences  
  
Cornelius Fudge,  
  
Minister of Magic   
  
Harry hardly finished the letter before Dudley ripped it from his hands. "Mum, Dad!" he yelled, "Harry has a letter that has your names on it."  
  
Vernon waddled into the room, "Boy, what made you think this was yours?" His eyes scanned through the letter.   
  
"So, you're a murderer?" Vernon asked, "Get to your room while your aunt and I discuss this."  
  
Harry sullenly trudge up to his room.   
  
       Vernon came up to Harry's room a while later, "Boy," he said. "WE've decided that we aren't going to tolerate this freakishness in out household. Get some paper and a pen to write some letters to send to those freaks over the holidays."  
  
Harry hardly heard him. He was in one of his apathetic phases, staring into oblivion, letting his thoughts wander.  
  
           "Boy!" he repeated, " I said, get some paper and a pen to write some letters to send to those freaks over the holidays."  
  
       Harry, speechless, got some paper and a pen and wrote some letters.  
  
His first letter contained some rather snide comments about the Dursleys. Vernon wasn't too happy about that. He'd only written enough letters to last until his birthday when he lost consciousness for one of the many times that summer.  
  
       A few days later, Vernon lost his job at Grunnings, his drill company. This caused him to drink, and blame Harry for all his problems. This was when Vernon started using the knife to "drain out" his freakish- ness.  
  
                               
  
       It was now three days after Harry's birthday and Albus Dumbledore was alarmed. Most of Harry's letters this summer had been sad, distant, but Albus figured Harry was still grieving.  
  
The Order informed him an hour ago that they hadn't received a letter from Harry yet. Albus was going to wait for a bit then he was going to send someone to check on him.  
  
Albus knocked on Severus Snape's door, "Severus, it's me, Albus,"  
  
"Yes, " he answered, seeing the somber look on Albus's face he asked, "What's wrong?"  
  
"Well, the Order told Harry to write every three days. It has been four since his last letter."  
  
"No"  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"I refuse to check on the Gryffindor Golden Boy, you do it." Severus barked.  
  
"I can't Harry won't trust me. And if Harry and I were in the same spot Voldemort couldn't resist not attacking. You should do it."  
  
"Send someone else."  
  
"Everyone else is on some sort of mission. You. Go. Do. It." Albus's voice held no room for argument.  
  
"Damn him," Snape muttered, "the stupid boy probably forgot to write." 


	2. Chapter 2

Lost and Afraid  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it (duh) I'm just a fan driven by boredom to actually do something with my life.  
  
Author's Note: OMG! I'm actually getting reviews (gasp!). This chapter shouldn't be as short as the first one. Thank you to every one who reviewed! I'd like to congratulate The Earth Mystic for being my first reviewer!  
  
Means thoughts  
  
Upon reaching Number 4 Privet Drive Severus had come up with a thousand and one ways to injure Potter when he reminded him to write in the future. Severus opened the door of Number four with a simple "Alohamora" When he got into the house he was rather shocked. It looked as if no Potter even existed.  
  
"Probably the wrong address," he muttered to absolutely no one in particular, "Might as well have a look around."  
  
He took a quick walk around the first floor. It was just a basic Muggle household. A kitchen, dining room, front room, and living room, it looked as if a wizard didn't even live in that house.  
  
Severus was on his way to going up the stairs when he sensed something in the cupboard under the stairs. He went over to said cupboard and opened it up. All that was in there was an old mattress, but something wasn't right. He sensed something and that something was bad. It was pain and loneliness.  
  
"Strange," he muttered and continued up the stairs.  
  
The first room held a rather large muggle, the second, a fatter muggle and a thin one. Severus was about to turn back when something silver caught his eye. A padlock. "Why is there a padlock on the door?" he asked himself.  
  
He went over to the door and opened it up. It was a bedroom and a rather pathetic one at that. All that was there was a small lumpy mattress. It was very dark in there and Severus could not see what was so important to lock up. He lit up his wand with a quick "Lumos" and a small arch of light emerged from the tip of the wand.  
  
The room was in more of a mess than he'd originally thought. There were these strange dark spots all over the floor. And there was something shiny on the floor, a knife? What was a knife doing on the floor in a bedroom? Severus picked up the knife and the emotion he felt from it almost caused him to drop it back down. Hate and pain. What was a muggle doing with a knife that could case so much pain? Now, Severus could think of a lot of painful things because he'd experienced them firsthand, but the people he knew weren't what you'd call normal.  
  
"So many questions and so few answers," Severus mumbled as he took a few more steps into the room. As he took those steps something cringed on the bed. What in the hell? Severus thought. He stepped closer to the bed, to get a closer look, it shook again.  
  
When he could actually see the bed, Severus saw that there was a thread bare blanket covering what seemed to be a human boy. "Potter?" he asked.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Author's Note: Now wasn't that an amazing end? Yeah, I hate cliffies too. So, I guess you guys can have some more.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
The only response Severus got was a slight shake of the blanket. What a waste of my time, Severus thought, Let's get this over with.  
  
Severus grabbed the blanket and pulled it off the bed.  
  
What happened next will always be imprinted on the Potion Master's mind.  
  
Harry Potter went into action, he swung he kicked he did every thing in his power to get away from Severus. He had a lot of vigor for someone in such bad shape as he was. His body was a mass of cuts and bruises. Yet, there was one mark that was not seem by our startled Potion Master. It was the mark on Harry's soul. It was the mark that made Harry trust no one.  
  
Harry's breathing grew ragged yet he still tried to swing. "Potter! Cut that out this instant!" Severus yelled completely forgetting about the muggles in the next room.  
  
Harry shied away and attempted to fit himself in the corner of his room. Severus bent over Harry and tried to examine him, but Harry wouldn't let Severus touch him. "Glorious," Severus muttered.  
  
Then Severus heard the cocking of a gun, "Get away from the boy, now!" Vernon Dursley yelled to the strange visitor.  
  
"And how are you going to make me?" Severus retorted, "Come on Potter, we're leaving."  
  
"You don't touch that boy or I'll kill you. I swear!"  
  
"Yeah, right Dursley."  
  
"That's it! I warned you!" Vernon yelled and fired.  
  
Severus saw the bullet coming yet there was nothing he could do. He was dead, he knew it. Then, when the bullet was supposed to hit. Nothing. Potter had jumped in front of the bullet for him.  
  
Severus whipped out his wand, "I suggest you leave, Mr. Dursley." He said very slowly, "Or I feel I'll have to kill you for the sport." Dursley was gone.  
  
He took one look at Potter. It was bad. It looked as if Vernon had broken several of his ribs, his leg was awfully swollen, and he had a bullet lodged in his shoulder. "Looks like your out for the Quidditch season," Severus said.  
  
"S'ok," Harry said, "Banned."  
  
Severus was taken aback. The boy was still conscious? It seemed impossible. "Is there anything you would like to take with?" he asked.  
  
"Floorboard under bed, album." Severus looked under the bed and saw a loose floor board. Under that was an old album full of pictures of Lilly and James Potter.  
  
Lilly, Severus thought then he shook himself. Now is not the time to dwell in the past. He told himself.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Author's Note: See its longer, kinda. If I get like five reviews you may get a new chapter. But I'll probably put one up Friday anyway. So tell me, how is it going? What can I do to make it better? Any suggestions? 


	3. Chapter 3

Lost and Afraid  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. (Damn that's depressing...) Just a person, who lives a very boring life, trying to do something with their time.  
  
Author's Notes: hmmm... nothing excruciatingly important to say right now, I'll think of something later... Oh yeah, thanks to every one that reviewed or even just read the last chapter. Special thanks to The Earth Mystic who was the first person to review the last chapter.  
  
Means thoughts ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Severus was in shock. That boy to a bullet for him. He was the boy's least favorite teacher, he was a Death Eater, and the boy still took a bullet for him. He was probably trying to end his own life, Severus thought morbidly, I can see why, those people.  
  
Severus grabbed the rather light body of Harry Potter and apparated to Hogwarts. This boy is much too small, Severus thought. When he reached Hogwarts, Severus did a quick check on Harry, Shit! he thought, this is not good. Harry's pulse was weak.  
  
Severus did a mad dash for the Hospital Wing. "Pomphrey!" he bellowed. "Get over here!"  
  
"Why Severus, you don't have to yell so loud," she replied, looking into his arm's she gasped, "Who is that?" she asked noticing the blood stained clothes on a heavily bleeding boy.  
  
"Harry Potter." Severus said, flatly.  
  
"WHAT DID YO-"She started.  
  
"It was his uncle, not me you twit." Severus said angrily, "Are you going to do something or just stare at him while he dies?"  
  
"His family?" she said while bustling over to him, picking up Harry and setting him on a bed.  
  
"Yes." Severus said, he began feeling rather uncomfortable, he really did not want to hear the extent of Harry's injuries and he really didn't want to hear her ask about the bullet wound. "Well I'll go alert the Headmaster."  
  
"No need, Severus, I've been here quite awhile, shall we go discuss things in my office?" Albus asked noticing Severus's nervousness.  
  
Severus said nothing, but he walked rather quickly out of the Hospital Wing, he didn't stop until he reached the gargoyle, "Everlasting Gobbstopper" he said quietly. He walked silently up the stairs to Albus Dumbledore's office.  
  
"I figured you'd be showing up here sometime or another," Albus said.  
  
"What? How?" Severus said.  
  
"Secret passageways my dear boy. So, how did Harry come to be in the state he is in now? Were you attacked?"  
  
"No," Severus said, "It was his uncle. He-he abused him, it was terrible. The-the things he did to that boy, it was worse than Voldemort. Knives, torture, and.... And rape. Vernon Dursley raped the poor boy."  
  
"What?" Albus asked, the usually present twinkle completely gone, "He did what? How do you know?"  
  
"I don't know... I just sensed something . It was disgusting, and one more thing, Harry was shot, I was taking him away and Dursley came after me with a gun. Albus the boy jumped in front of it, He took the bullet. He saved my life."  
  
"He did?" Albus asked. He was soon interrupted by a fire call from the Hospital Wing.  
  
"Albus?" Madame Pomphrey asked, "Albus, you should get down here." She said rather worriedly.  
  
A quick trip and a few minutes later, Albus and Severus were found in the Hospital Wing with Madame Pomphrey and an unconscious Harry Potter.  
  
"That Harry is a real trooper," Madame Pomphrey stated, "I-I checked over his injuries; He should make a full recovery... but he was... he was raped Albus, they raped him. When I was examining him... He woke up and he started screaming... I had to knock him out, I was so scared, he was trying to get away from me; he was terrified. I didn't know what to do."  
  
"That's all you could have done, Poppy," Albus said assuredly, "I'm terribly sorry, but I need to go, I have some letters to write. Severus, will you wait by Harry's bedside? He needs someone by him. If he wakes up come and get me."  
  
Severus really wasn't happy about his job, but he had no other option; he got a chair and set it by Harry's bedside. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
A few hours later.....  
  
Harry hurt. Hurt was more of an understatement, actually, he was in a lot of pain, especially around his shoulder. He sat there trying to remember what happened, he couldn't. Cautiously, he opened his eyes. All he could see was a man with black hair. "Sirius?" Harry asked softly.  
  
"No, you fool. It's not poor little Sirius. Since you've decided to wake up and grace us with your presence I shall go get Albus."  
  
"Sorry," Harry said softly. "I didn't mean to make you mad. I couldn't see." Severus began walking away. "I was hoping I was dead." Harry said faintly expecting that Severus couldn't hear him.  
  
"Being dead is a terrible thing," Severus said so quietly that Harry didn't even hear him.  
  
After a few minutes later, Severus reappeared with Albus; it seemed as if he had fallen asleep. "Albus, I'm rather worried about Ha-Potter, when I was waling away he said he wished he was dead. I'm beginning to think that when he jumped in front of the gun it was more of a suicide attempt." Severus said.  
  
"I was beginning to think that too, what those muggles did was inexcusable. Madame Pomphrey said he'd make a full recovery physically, I'm afraid of what will happen to him mentally." Albus replied tiredly, "I don't know what to do. For the first time in all my years I don't know what to do. That boy needs someone he really does."  
  
"I understand that Albus; but who?"  
  
"Would you watch the boy, Severus? He needs someone to care for him."  
  
"I won't do it Albus, I can't. How am I supposed to care for a boy that hates me?" Severus asked.  
  
"I don't hate you." Harry said softly. "I don't hate anyone, except for Voldemort probably."  
  
Severus was aghast, the boy was awake, and probably for the entire time too. "You have to hate someone. You don't even hate your uncle?"  
  
Harry cringed at the mention of his uncle. "I don't hate him, I got what I deserved. I'm just a freak. That's all. A freak."  
  
Severus was about to yell something, but Albus stopped him, "You're not a freak Harry, you're just a boy. A perfectly normal boy." Albus said kindly. Severus coughed at the normal part.  
  
"See!" Harry yelled, "I am a freak. Even he thinks so! That's all I am. Even you think I'm a freak." At this point Harry started crying. Albus tried to put his hand on Harry's shoulder, but Harry jerked it out of his grasp. "Just go, I don't deserve your presence. Just go."  
  
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Author's Note: Sorry I didn't get this out yesterday guys, I was writing it but then I was viciously attacked with writer's block. So tell me, how is it? What should happen next? Any suggestions?  
I might put another chapter out in a day or two, but then I might not be able to update for awhile. I have like two or three projects due. 


	4. Chapter 4

Lost and Afraid  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize (duh!). If you dot recognize it; it could quite possibly be mine.  
  
Author's Notes: Hmm... I was contemplating changing chapter three but, I figure not because I don't know ... I guess I will update this then... umm... next week I don't know if I can update or not. (School sucks!) Other than that, enjoy.  
  
Means thoughts _____________________________________________________________________  
  
Albus and Severus left a rather hysterical Harry in the Hospital Wing and went to talk in the hallway. "This really bothers me, Severus. I don't know how much of this Harry can take on his own. You should watch after him."  
  
"No," Severus said, "I can't. Do you think I can be of any help? I made the poor boy cry!"  
  
"You should watch over him," Albus said in his usually calm demeanor. "He needs someone."  
  
"Have Lupin watch him. You mentioned that he was coming back this year. Have him watch Harry."  
  
"No. You should. Go and think about it. If he was your child would you have him suffer like that?" Albus said.  
  
Crazed man, Severus thought, Watch after Harry, he's delusional. Severus went down to the dungeons to contemplate what Albus said. If he was your child would you have him suffer like that? What is he even talking about? If he was my child he wouldn't live like that.  
  
Severus was lost in his thoughts when he noticed something on his desk. It was an old letter. The parchment was yellowed with age and Severus could hardly make out his name on the envelope. What's this? he thought. Curiosity got the best of him and he opened the letter. It read:  
  
My Dearest Severus,  
If you are reading this, Peter betrayed us and we died at the hands of the Dark Lord. Hopefully Harry survived. There is one thing I'd like  
to explain to you. My son, Harry, is truly your son.  
  
Severus stopped. Harry? His son?  
  
Right now you are probably asking how. I understand what you are thinking. How are you to have a son? Did you notice his birthday? It was less than nine months after we broke up. He is yours. The day I saw your Dark Mark was the day I was going to tell you I was pregnant with your child, but I  
had seen the mark and I knew my son could not live with a Death Eater  
father. It would not work, so I ran.  
  
I ran straight to James who said he would help me. We were married just three months before Harry was born. I know, the fact that I left you hurts but there is something urgent that I need to tell you. The charms on Harry  
are wearing off.  
  
The charms are some rather complicated concealing and glamour charms. They made Harry look exactly like James. There is one problem though; there is no charm powerful enough to work for a long period of time. So, James and I combined a few charms and made them last until Harry's sixteenth birthday.  
It was just two days ago and if you have noticed, Harry is changing. He will look much less like James and more like you, his true father. It will take about a month for the entire charm to wear off, so you have that long  
to do something.  
  
You may not even want to keep Harry, but he will probably be with Sirius or my sister, Petunia. If he is with Petunia, you are going to want to get him  
out of there; she and her husband are not fond of magic.  
  
That is all I can say right now, though, remember one thing. I will always  
love you.  
  
Yours,  
Lilly  
  
Severus was shocked, he had a son, and his son was Harry Potter, no less. What am I going to do about this? Severus asked himself, I can't tell him. It would kill him. Then there is only one option, I tell no one.  
  
Back in the Hospital Wing...  
  
Harry was distraught. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He could hardly remember anything that happened at the Dursley's except that whatever they did hurt.  
  
Harry cautiously tried to get out of the bed; he scooted over to the end of the bed and tried to push his feet onto the floor. When he tried it shot a shooting pain up his arm and it made his shoulder throb. Curious as to why his shoulder ached so much, Harry took his arm out of the sleeve of the hospital gown and inspected his shoulder. There was a star shaped wound on his shoulder. What happened at the Dursley's Harry asked his self. How did I get this scar? I remember the train ride home, the Order threatening the Dursley's and then we got home. There was a letter from someone. I don't know what happened after that.  
  
Harry was laying in his bed trying to remember what happened when Severus Snape walked into the Hospital Wing. After a brief talk with Madam Pomphrey he walked over to Harry's bed. "Mister Potter, I believe you would like these." Professor Snape said as he handed Harry a photo album, his invisibility cloak and his wand.  
  
There was a brief silence, and then Harry asked, "Professor, I was wondering, why do you have my things?"  
  
"You don't remember?" Severus asked.  
  
"No... I remember the train back, the ride home with my uncle and then they got a letter. I don't remember what it was about and then, I woke up here." Harry replied.  
  
Oh shit, Severus thought, This is going to be a serious blow to him when he remembers. "Well, Mister Potter, I will have a brief discussion with the Headmaster and then we will be back to... Um... discuss some things."  
  
What is his problem? Harry thought. He seems a little nice. God, what is wrong with me. Harry was sifting through his things when he found a picture o the Dursleys. The picture was from when Harry was like six and he really believed that the Dursleys loved him. He absentmindedly touched the picture when everything came back. That entire month or pain. Everything Vernon did to him came flooding back.  
  
When Severus returned with Albus Harry was openly sobbing. "Child what is the matter?" Albus asked.  
  
"I-I remember... Everything that happened at the Dursleys...everything." Harry replied.  
  
Severus sat down on the bed. "It is alright child, they can't touch you now. They can't touch you." He was patting Harry on the back. The first time Severus touched Harry, he flinched as if expecting to be hit.  
  
Albus was aghast. Severus and Harry he would never have thought. But then all things considering, Harry did look ever so slightly like Severus. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Author's Note: Yeah Severus seems just a little bit out of character. Ehh sorry. I'll update later... some time. 


	5. Chapter 5

Lost and Afraid  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. I do own the plot, if there is one, and any original characters that I haven't bothered to make up yet.  
  
Author's Note: Yeah I was so going to post this earlier but I was viciously attacked my writer's block. I'm so glad you guys review. Anyway... I said I wasn't going to update but I love typing this story. That and one of the projects got postponed for a week and a half so.... Life is good. Not quite sure when I'm going to update next. Oh yeah.. One question.. Do you like the short chapters I'm, doing or should I make them longer?" Other than that... enjoy. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Severus sat up long into the night comforting Harry. It wasn't until late that night that Harry fell asleep. Just minutes after Harry fell asleep Albus walked down to the Hospital Wing.  
  
"Severus," Albus said, "Did you notice something odd about Harry?"  
  
Severus almost laughed. "Strange?" he asked. "Strange? Tell me something about this boy that is normal."  
  
"No, Severus, something strange about Harry's appearance, and no I'm not talking scars on his body. I'm talking about his facial features. His face seems longer and his hair seems flatter."  
  
"Oh, no, Albus, I didn't notice that," Severus lied quickly."But come to think of it he does look different."  
  
"Oh, yes, Severus he looks like you. Did I mention a letter I received from Lilly the other day? It explained some rather strange things, like a certain boy's parentage."  
  
"Lilly sent you a letter?" Severus asked trying to act shocked but deep down inside he realized his charade was over. ________________________________________________________________________  
Pain seared through Harry's scar. He was in a some type of dungeon. Although dungeon really wasn't the word for it. It seemed at if it were underground fortress. It was adorned with some of the most beautiful yet sinister art Harry had ever seen. The main room was a throne room, almost. It was a dimly lit room. There was a black marble step in the back of the room. On that step there was a menacing throne.  
  
On that chair there sat him, The Dark Lord, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Voldemort. The very name struck fear into most people's hearts. Two wizards approached the throne. "My Lord," they said in unison, "The Potter boy was not at his house, we believe that Albus Dumbledore has moved him somewhere else."  
"Fools!" Voldemort roared. "You can not even complete on mission, Lucius, you said the boy would be there. Did I break you out of Azkaban for nothing? Should I just bring you back there?"  
  
"No, My Lord. The boy was there."  
  
"Really, Lucius? And what proof do you have?... That's what I thought. You may leave. Oh, one thing, do not mention Albus Dumbledore to me. Crucio!" Lucius began to writhe in pain, but there was something strange, Harry felt the curse too. Harry began to writhe as well, but with his newly healed wounds, his body could not take much more. Harry lost consciousness in minutes. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Madame Pomphrey was frantic. Her patient all of a sudden started screaming and writhing. It looked as if he were under Crucio. Then, he just stopped, he'd lost consciousness. Shocked, Poppy ran to the fire she threw some powder into the fire and yelled, "Albus Dumbledore's office." She appeared in Albus's office.  
  
"Albus," she said, " I was in my office and then Harry started screaming, and then he lost consciousness. It seemed as of he were under Crucio. I'm worried."  
  
"Ahh.. alert Professor Snape and meet me in the Hospital Wing." Madame Pomphrey hurried off to the dungeons and Albus walked down to the Hospital Wing thinking, I've failed the boy again. I can't keep him safe from his family. I can't keep him safe from his dreams. I can't do much for the boy.  
  
Albus walked into the Hospital Wing and saw a pained Harry. Harry's brow was beaded with sweat. Poor boy, Albus thought.  
  
"Albus," Severus said quietly, "Is there something wrong?"  
  
"It was Voldemort; Pomphrey thought it was Crucio. Now is a good time to bring him back to your rooms."  
  
"Albus, I told you I can't take care of him."  
  
Albus said one simple word, "Why?"  
  
"Well... because... just because. I can't"  
  
"You should." Albus said.  
  
"Its ok," Harry said weakly, "I-I can stay here. I don't mind. I don't need anyone I can manage."  
  
"You shouldn't have to manage. Severus WILL be happy to have you in his chambers. They're quite elegant I must say." Albus replied while looking at Severus. "Well, Harry, You should get some rest. Severus will bring you and your belongings to his room tomorrow. Sleep well."  
  
"Yes, sir." Harry lay in bed for what felt like hours. He couldn't sleep, he NEEDED to talk to someone. He needed someone to talk to. Deciding that Albus wasn't any good. Harry decided to go to talk to Severus; he might understand.  
  
Harry got up, put on a robe and went to find Severus. He was walking around the hallways and he got turned around. He ended up by Albus's office. Harry was about to turn around and go back to the Hospital Wing when he heard raised voices.  
  
"Albus!" Severus yelled, "I will not bring that boy to my chambers. He will not go there." Harry felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, apparently no one cared for him.  
  
"Severus that boy needs some one, why not his father?" Albus yelled back. Harry was confused did Albus just say father? Definitely not.  
  
"The boy does not have a father. He is an orphan. His father died years ago. Besides I hate the boy."  
  
"You can't hate your-"  
  
"Yes I can, and I do. He is not living with me!" Harry was distraught, he was hated by yet another person. No one cared. His body as if sensing his lost fell to the ground, Harry was unconscious. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Author's Note- Ok guys, that chapter was kinda hard. The words were pretty forced, but well, what can you do about it? Umm... I was going to say something but, I forgot. Please Read and Review. 


	6. Chapter 6

Lost and Afraid  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling (Sadly)  
  
Author's Note: Yeah... hmm... hi guys... So I figured I'd work on this. Sorry if this chapter completely sucks, my family is being dumb so I'm sitting here in the dark typing, (my, what a life I have.) So... sorry if this totally sucks but I find it a good way to vent anger. I'll give shout outs to everyone that's reviewed at the end of this chapter. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Severus was worried. When he and Albus returned to the Hospital Wing, Harry was gone. They had searched the castle left and right looking for him. He was no where to be found. It seemed as if the castle was hiding him. Distraught he turned to Albus, "Albus, where is he? Where did he go? How come we can't find him?"  
  
"Severus, I do not know. This castle was built a thousand years ago, I once read that it obeyed a students innermost wishes. In this case, I believe Harry felt that no one care for him and that he'd just disappear, so that's what the castle probably did."  
  
"SO bring him back. You are the Headmaster; make it bring back my son!" Severus yelled not knowing the words were coming out of his mouth.  
  
"Severus, remain calm, we will find Harry; just wait. You stay here and wait to see if Harry comes back. I will continue searching." Albus said in that usually calm tone. Not knowing what else to do; Severus sat down and reread Lilly's letter for the thousandth time.  
  
Be it minutes or hours later, Severus did not know but Albus came carrying a rather exhausted looking Harry into the Hospital Wing. Right after Albus set Harry down Severus got up and left. "Severus, where are you going?" Albus asked.  
  
"I have a new roommate coming. Do I not? I do believe a roommate or SON in this matter needs a room." Severus replied and walked away completely forgetting about Lilly's letter. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
A few hours later, Harry awoke. He opened his eyes and the first thing he thought was, I'm back in the Hospital Wing, they found me. Harry stretched out his arm to get his glasses off the bedside table, accidentally knocking a piece of old yellowed parchment off the table.  
  
Harry slipped on his glasses and looked at what he knocked down. It was a letter... from his mother. It read: My Dearest Severus.  
  
Harry finished the letter in shock. So, Severus really was his father. Thoughts were racing through his head. There was one in particular, why didn't Severus tell him?  
  
Dumbledore came up to Harry's room that afternoon. "Come on Harry," He said your better now. It's time to go to your new home."  
  
"M-m-my new home?" Harry stuttered.  
  
"Yes Harry, your new home. Your wounds have healed surprisingly quickly. There will be some scarring though. I'm sorry. But, back to your new home; one of the teachers has decided to allow you into their private chambers."  
  
"Professor, I know this doesn't concern anything but, who is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor?"  
  
"Why, it is Professor Lupin, he should be returning any day now." Albus replied, "Ah. Here is your new 'roommate' now. Harry, you'll be staying with Severus until the start of term."  
  
"Come on Harry," Severus said, "We should get you down to your room so you can get settled."  
  
Severus and Harry were half way to the dungeons when Harry finally got up the courage to tell Severus. "Professor," Harry began, "I know."  
  
"What do you 'know' Potter?" Severus snapped his mind on other things.  
  
"W-w-well... I um... woke up this morning and I-I-I found my mum's letter and at first I didn't know what it was and then I read and if you want me to go back to the Hospital Wing I understand. I know how y-you like your privacy and I'll just be a bother so I'll go back." By this time Harry was just rambling and it took a minute for Severus to figure out what he was trying to say.  
  
"I thought you find out eventually, not exactly the way I planned it though," Severus said, as if he were just commenting on the weather, but truly he was outraged, how did Harry even get the letter, and he read it, outrageous.  
  
Then, outside a portrait in one of the dungeons Severus stopped, "This is the entrance to my and for the time being, your chambers the password is 'draconi cori.'" (Author's Note- please excuse the abyssymal Latin, I haven't look at anything in Latin in a long time. It's supposed to mean dragon heart but i'm not quite sure if that's right.)  
  
Severus continured, "The password can be changed by only me, but I'll tell you when I do. Got it?"  
  
Harry nodded numbly and followed Severus inside. "Now here is the living room, the bath room, my room, don't go in there, the lab, the kitchen, and here is your room. Now there are a couple-"Severus stopped, Harry had stopped walking in front of his room.  
  
"Is there something wrong with your room?"Severus asked, "You can change the colors if you'd like."  
  
"I actually have a room?" Harry asked shocked.  
  
"Of course you have a room. Why wouldn't you?"  
  
"Umm.. well.. at my Uncle's I slept in the cupboard under the stairs."  
  
"YOU SLEPT IN A CUPBOARD?!?" Severus asked shocked.  
  
"Y-y-yes," Harry stammered, "My cot f-f-fot onthere nicely and-"  
  
"Why didn't you tell anyone?"  
  
"I did."  
  
"Really, Albus didn't say anything when you told him you slept in a cupboard?"  
  
"I told him. I begged him to let me stay here he wouldn't let me."  
  
"Yeah right, why didn't you tell anyone else?"  
  
"I didn't tell anyone because no one cared. No one has cared and no one will cared!" Harry roared and fled from the room. _____________________________________________________________________  
  
Author's Note- Okey dokey guys, thats it, I'll write the shout outs next time (I swear) 


	7. Chapter 7

Lost and Afraid  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. Just a fan driven by boredom to do something with my life.  
  
Author's Note : Ok Guys this is really important. Some one told me I sounded like other fics. If I do please tell me; if this does infact sound like another fic OR this is comepletely terrible, please tell me. I got my first negative review and this is really bothering me. Great.. now I don't know what to do... damn review.. ummm.. so should I bring in Draco, but I want to make him nice so will that sound like the zillion other fics or no? I am so confused right now.. I seriously need some help.  
  
One super important note! If you feel the need to tell me that my story is completely clichèd or is comepletely boring could you please leave a pen name. It really hurts when someone (couch AMYLEE cough) tells me my story is boring and then coincidentally doesn't have a name on fanfiction.net.  
  
Okey dokey guys here's the next chapter but, of course I would like to say a couple things to you guys that reviewed.  
  
The Earth Mystic: You rock! You were the first person to review my story and you were the first person to review many of my chapters.  
  
ChristinaLee: I can't believe I made you that sad. I really don't think my chapters are all that great but I'm glad you think different.  
  
Leggylover03: OMG thanks for reviewing. You've review liked a bunch of times.  
  
Lillian and Lime: I wouldn't take offense to anything you'd say. I was trying to mix the man Harry is supposed to be and a child. You guys are the first people who have actually given me something to work on.  
  
Starangel2106: Thanks for reviewing. How many point do I have now? Lol. Writing in the dark is fun, except when you are walking to the computer and you trip. I've found out light burns up all the creative juices in my brain. Weird...  
  
Xtreme-team: Thanks for reviewing, I seem to keep a lot of people in suspense about the next chapter.  
  
Kat-mle : Thank you for reviewing  
  
Sara: (gasp) how profane. If I can write a story you can write a story.  
  
ChancingFaith: OMG I love your pen name. OMG thanks for reviewing.  
  
Anna: Your the second person to review my story! YAY!  
  
Mikee: Thanks for reviewing  
  
Starr2: (To lazy to put anything.. Nah.. just kidding) Thanks for reviewing.  
  
Author's Note Okey dokey, that was a great.. whoops forgot that whole chapter thing. Soo...  
  
means thoughts ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Harry ran, he ran past all te dungeons past the Great Hall, past every thing except the one thing he was running from... himself. He reached stairs, he climbed stair after stair after stair, they never seemed to end.  
  
Harry stopped. He was at the very top of the astronomy tower, there were no more stairs. It wasn't until he stopped that Harry realized how tired he was. He sat down on the ledge of the tower and began to think. Snape is my father, Harry thought. he let that sink in. Snape is my father, biologically that is, he doesn't even want me. Maybe I am that worthless. Maybe all of what Uncle Vernon said is true.  
  
Harry looked out over the ledge of the astronomy tower and thought a bout doing it. He thought about jumping oer the edge and ending it all. BOOM! No more worries, Snape would sure be happy, and he'd see Sirius. He was about to do it right there, just jump, but then, he thought of Ron and Hermione and Remus. Could he just leave them behind? Could he be that selfish?  
  
"No" Harry whispered, "I can't leave them behind. I can't." Harry was about to break down, he could feel the tears building up in his eyes. I shouldn't leave Professor Snape worrying, Harry thought.  
  
Slowly, Harry got up and walked back to the dungeons. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Snape was furious, Po- Harry yelled and then he just stormed off. Just then, Harry walked into the room. "And where do you-"  
  
"Sorry, sir. I was not trying to be rude. I was upset." Harry said in a monotone voice. "I was wondering, Professor, if you would continue teaching me Occulemcy? I won't touch any of your belongings and I am really sorry about the Pensieve, sir. I meant no harm."  
  
Severus sighed, "I guess we can continue. Would you like to begin now?"  
  
Harry thought for a minute, "Yes, sir."  
  
"Ok, then, Legilimens."  
  
Harry was forced to his knees, the memories were flooding him. He was trapped.  
  
Flashback  
Harry was at the Dursleys'. It was one of the last days he was there it was one of the more vicious beatings. Vernon kicked him, hit him, and then he was sitting on him, he had broken several of Harry's ribs that way.  
  
Harry was back at the Department of Mysteries, Sirius fell through the veil. The vision was so important to Harry that he kept seeing it again and  
again. Harry's mind cried out in anguish.  
  
Harry was on the Quidditch field, it was when the dementors came. Harry  
heard his mother die.  
  
This time Harry was at Hogwarts, it was just a day ago. It was when Severus and Albus were in the hallway discussing Harry. Severus yelled that  
he hated Harry.  
  
End Flashback  
  
Harry's eyes were on the ground, he knew what Severus saw. He was probably laughing at him now. "I think that that was enough for today. You should head onto bed. We will discuss some things tomorro." Severus said calmly  
  
"Yes, sir." Harry said quietly. All the pain from that day was creeping up on him. Harry was halfway to his room when his legs gave out and he fell.  
  
Severus rushed to Harry's "Are you ok?" Severus asked.  
  
"Y-yes sir," Harry stuttered, "It has just been a long day." Harry lied.  
  
"Come on, I will help you to your room." Slowly, Harry got up and assisted by Severus, helped Harry to his room. "Here you lay down and I'll be right back." Severus returned just a few minutes later with a vial of Dreamless Sleep potion.  
  
"No, it's ok. I don't need it." Harry said.  
  
"Ok," Severus replied as he set the vial on the side of Harry's bed, "Are you sure you are ok?"  
"Yes, I'm fine.You can take your potion back. I don't want to be a burden." Harry replied.  
  
Emerald eyes met onyx. "I think I'll leave it right here, just in case." Severus replied as he walked out of the room.  
  
Severus had just walked out of the room when Harry started to cry. The lesson was just too much. Sirius was just too much. He needed rest. Harry reached over to the bed side table and took the vial. He drank a gulp of it and he was asleep before his head hit the pillow. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Author's Note: Yeah, that's a kinda short chapter, but it was the best I could do. Umm.. I might update Thursday-ish. 


	8. Chaper 8

Lost and Afraid  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it (Duh). But I do own the plot, if there happens to be one.  
  
Author's Note: So sorry about how short the last chapter was. I had some typed and it seemed like a really good spot to end so... End it I did. I am SO SORRY about how long this took to get out. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Harry woke the next morning feeling strange, He felt well rested for the first time in weeks. He actually had a whole night of rest. Harry's cheerful mood was quickly diminished when he saw the half empty vial of Dreamless Sleep Potion. "I can't even sleep with out depending on anyone." Harry muttered to no one in particular.  
  
Harry was surprised when he got the first look at his room. The walls were a dark blue color, almost the color of the night sky. The bed was a canopy bed and all the bedding was in black. There was a cherry wood dresser that, upon further inspection held all new clothes for Harry.  
  
The opening of a door brought Harry out of his stupor. "Do you like the room?" Severus asked.  
  
Harry did not have any words. Severus sighed, "Well, if you don't like it you can always change it."  
  
"No! It's not that. It's just that someone seems to ca-" Harry stopped. "I like the room. It is really nice" Harry said in a monotone voice.  
  
"Very well, get dressed; we are going to eat in the Great Hall this morning."  
  
"Yes, sir." Harry replied quietly. Slowly, Harry got up and walked to the bathroom.  
  
Severus stared at the retreating form. He really needed to talk to Albus. That boy needed help  
  
Harry took a quick shower and was getting dressed in the bathroom when he looked at the mirror. The first thing he noticed about his self was all his scars. They decorated his body like little crisscrossed signs of pain. But, there was something else strange about Harry. His face was different. His cheekbones were higher, his face was longer and his hair was manageable. It was straighter and longer.  
  
Quickly, Harry got dressed and rushed back into his room. There was a little personal mirror on his dresser. Harry picked up the mirror and brought it closer to his face. He did look different; he looked just like he did in the bathroom. CRACK! Harry dropped the mirror.  
  
Upon hearing a crashed, Severus rushed to Harry's room. Harry was in his room huddled into a corner. "Harry?" Severus said softly. No answer, "Harry. What is wrong?"  
  
Quietly Harry answered, "Why didn't you tell me I changed? Now what am I going to tell my friends? Oh yeah, Professor Snape is my dad, I found that out over the summer, but oh, don't mind him; he doesn't want me anyway." He said the last part bitterly.  
  
Severus reached down to touch Harry, "We should talk about things. I heard you crying last night. We need to discuss Sirius."  
  
"WHY DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM? IT'S NOT LIKE YOU LIKED HIM ANYWAY! YOU WERE THE ONE THAT DROVE HIM SO MAD THAT HE RISKED HIS LIFE TO SAVE ME. AND HE DIED. YOU DIDN'T EVEN CARE!" Harry yelled.  
  
Severus was outraged at what Harry said. He put on one of his infamous scowls, "Well, at least I'm not a stupid little boy who got his godfather killed by risking his neck." He replied.  
  
"Yeah, it is all my fault. Isn't it? I killed Sirius! Are you happy now?" Harry asked in between his sobs. Severus stormed out of the dungeons.  
  
Harry was distraught. He DID kill Sirius. It was all his fault. The close space was too much for Harry; he grabbed his cloak and headed for the lake.  
  
Harry spent much of that day and many more days sitting beside the lake. Severus kept trying to talk to Harry, but every time he tired his throat would close up and b the time he got control of his emotions Harry was gone.  
  
It seemed to Severus that Harry stopped eating. He never went to the Great Hall. Harry hardly slept. He didn't get back to his room until late and got up early the next morning. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
It was two weeks until the start of term that Harry actually went down to the Great Hall to eat. Harry ate at the far end of the table, not talking to anyone. He was trying for a quick escape when Remus Lupin caught Harry in the hall. "Hello, Harry," Remus said, "And how was your summer?"  
  
Harry put on his best fake smile and replied, "Oh, it was great, Professor Lupin. Dumbledore brought me here early for protection though."  
  
"Oh really." He replied, but Harry was gone. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Just a week before start of term. Harry finally got his OWLs back. They were lying on top of his bed side table along with a pile of book. Excited, Harry opened his results. It read:  
  
Dear Mr. Potter,  
  
Enclosed are your OWL results.  
  
Harry skimmed through the letter quickly. He ended up getting seven OWLS. Average. He did get an O in Potions, though. He had gotten good enough grades to continue in his goal of becoming an Auror.  
  
Curious as to what the books were for, Harry sifted through the books and found a letter from Severus. It said that Severus had gotten all of his books for him and there was no need for him to go to Diagon Alley.  
  
Letting his emotions take control, Harry searched out Severus. Severus was in his office hunched over what looked like lesson plans. Harry threw the piece of parchment in front of Severus, "What's up with this?" Harry asked.  
  
"I do believe that is a letter." Severus replied.  
  
"I know that. But, why can't I go to Diagon Alley? Its not like I have been bad have I?" Harry said the last part a bit sadly.  
  
"What!?! No, I believed that you going down to Diagon Alley was a risk, so I chose to get your belongings." Severus said simply.  
  
"But what about my friends? I have those things you know. People you talk to. You probably don't know what friends are anyway." Harry said the last part bitterly.  
  
The fact that the last comment stung was the only excuse for what Severus said next. "Well, I could have taken you; you probably would have preformed some dramatic stunt or something. Voldemort would find you and you would have caused the death of many more people. Now, I just figured you were tired of causing people harm, guess I was wrong."  
  
Harry stopped. He really does cause harm. He is a burden. He isn't worth anything. Harry turned around and walked silently out of the office.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Harry silently walked aimlessly until he ran straight into someone. "Sorry," he muttered not bothering to look to see who he actually ran into.  
  
Remus Lupin was shocked, here Harry ran straight into him and didn't even look at him. "Harry," he called, "Harry, wait!"  
  
Remus didn't catch Harry until Harry was sitting out by the lake. "Harry," Remus said, "I was calling you."  
  
Harry looked at him with unseeing eyes and said nothing. "Harry," Remus repeated, "I called you." Remus grabbed Harry's shoulder and shook it.  
  
Harry backed away and started muttering, "No please, no. Stop. No-no-no." He just kept repeating no over and over.  
  
Remus was alarmed, what was wrong with Harry? "Harry," he said quietly.  
  
Harry slowly became aware of his surroundings. He looked toward Remus quizzically, "Remus?" he asked.  
  
Remus hugged him. "I was really worried for a minute there." Remus said. Harry visibly stiffened under the hug. Sensing Harry's distress, Remus let go, "Well," he said, "I'll see you around later." ________________________________________________________________________  
  
The days rolled by quickly and before Harry knew it, it was the start of term feast. Harry was anxiously waiting outside of the building for the train to arrive. He remembered that morning.  
  
Harry woke early that morning with a pain in the pit of his stomach. It was the first day of the school term. Everyone would be arriving tonight. Harry looked in the mirror. The changes were slight. His hair was longer and a lot less wild, it no longer stuck up in odd places. His face was a lot longer. His eyes looked sunken in as if he had experienced too many terrors in his life. He looked like a complete stranger.  
  
Harry was pacing his room when he heard a quick knock on his door. "Yes?" he said.  
  
"May I come in?" Severus asked rather calmly.  
  
"Umm...OK." Harry replied, not used to people asking if they could enter the room.  
  
"Albus said you would most likely like to cover up the changes in your face. So I get the privilege of casting a glamour charm on you. Don't worry this shouldn't hurt, too much." Severus just couldn't resist making at least a few snide comments.  
  
Harry's eyes got wide at the pain part, but he went through with it anyway. "OK," Severus said, "I'll cast the charm it should last for twenty- four hours. Are you ready?" he asked with out bothering to look for an answer. "________"  
  
Hurting a little was putting the spell lightly. It hurt, bad, every single change in Harry's body, felt like thousands of pins and needles were pulling the skin, reforming the entire body. Finally, the spell was over. Harry stood up, wavered slightly from the pain, and left the room without a second glance to Severus.  
  
Harry spent much of the day finishing up the last bits of his homework in the library and hiding out from Lupin. Although Harry figured Lupin wasn't going to waste his time on him, Harry didn't want to see him.  
  
So after a few hours in the library, Harry went to wait for his friends. They should be arriving anytime now. Only a few minutes later, Harry saw the thestrals putting the carriages up to the castle.  
  
Draco Malfoy was the first person out of the first carriage; he was, surprisingly, alone. His goons were no where to be seen. And, another surprise, Draco walked past him without saying a word.  
  
A few minutes later, Ron and Hermione pulled up. "Harry!" Hermione yelled as she ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Harry stiffened.  
  
"Hi, Hermione." Harry said.  
  
Ron was a little more subtle in his greeting. "Hey mate," he said, "I didn't hear from you all summer, we-err-I ... was worried." Ron said, desperately trying to hide the fact that he spent the summer with Hermione.  
  
"Oh, well, I really didn't feel like writing," Harry lied quickly. "Come on, we should get inside, the Sorting is about to start."  
  
They all quickly walked inside. When they reached the Great Hall, Harry gasped, there were so many people in there. He couldn't go inside. "Guys, I have to use the bathroom, I'll meet you in there," he said in hopes of throwing them off.  
  
"Ok," Hermione replied, "We'll meet you in there. Won't we Ron?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, sure." Rom replied not really wanting to leave Harry alone.  
  
Harry quickly went towards the bathroom but then turned as soon as Ron and Hermione went into the Great Hall. He went towards the lake. He sat out by the lake holding what looked like a muggle pocket knife and looked at the tiny scars crisscrossing his arm. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Meanwhile... Sever us was starting to get worried. Harry still hadn't shown up at the feast. The Sorting was over and the feast had begun. He went to Albus.  
  
"Albus," he said quietly, "Harry isn't here. I don't know where he is."  
  
"So go and find him," Albus replied rather angrily, for he did not see how Severus could lose a child.  
  
Severus left the Great Hall through a side door and headed out toward the lake for he knew that that was Harry's favorite hideout.  
  
Harry heard Severus's approach and quickly hid the knife. "Harry," Severus said, "Why aren't you at the feast?"  
  
"Why do you care?" Harry snapped. Then, sensing his attitude he quickly shied away from Severus and muttered a quiet. "Sorry, sir."  
  
Severus let the attitude go, "You should go to the feast."  
  
Harry didn't reply. Sensing defeat Severus left. Then, Harry quietly said, "I can't go in there, there are too many people."  
  
Severus heard him but chose to remain silent. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Severus was not the only person to notice Harry's absence. Draco did as well. After the feast had concluded and Harry still did not return, Draco decided to go on a search. First he searched the main hallways and many of the nooks and hidden rooms. Still no Harry. He then went to go look around the grounds.  
  
Draco found Harry sitting by the lake holding a miniature knife to his arm. "Are you planning on killing yourself?" Draco asked causing Harry to jump.  
  
"Why do you care?" Harry asked; he then looked at his arm. "SHIT!" the cut was deep and it was bleeding freely.  
  
"Looks like you're well on your way," Draco said noting the numerous other scars.  
  
"Again. Why the hell do you care?"  
  
"Maybe I want to kill you then. You'd take away all of my glory."  
  
"FINE! GO AHEAD! ADD YOUR NAME TO THE LIST!" Harry yelled, "SEE IF I CARE!"  
  
Draco backed slowly away from the fuming boy. This was going to be one odd year.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Author's Note: Super sorry it took so long to get out. I was having some problems writing this one. Hmm... I know Draco seems a little OOC. But he'll b different, (I hope). Ermm... note to Leggylover03- Sorry I didn't send this to you I'm super impatient. I'll send you the ENTIRE next chapter as soon as I finish it. 


	9. Chapter 9

Lost and Afraid  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. And you can tell I'm not really getting paid for it, because if I was getting paid... why would I post it on a site where everyone else could see it?  
  
Random Quotes: "I realize that everyone who lives will someday die and die alone." -Brand New  
  
"I come to this place of my ancestors...and I remember... we're dying. In every breath we take, in every cup of tea we drink, in every life we take, we're dying." -Katsumoto, The Last Samurai  
  
Author's Note: I decided to add some nice little random quotes. They probably won't have anything to do with the chapter but I think these are rather fitting for the story... So, back to the story, I like the longer chapters, so I'll probably stick with the longer ones. But...Good news! I've got Spring Break this week so... you might get some more chapters ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Severus watched the retreating form of Draco Malfoy and was surprised at the fact that Draco hadn't cursed Harry into oblivion. He was too far to hear the conversation though, but he did see Harry's actions. Making sure Draco had returned to the school, Severus briskly walked toward his son.  
  
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Severus yelled causing Harry to jolt from his stupor.  
  
"What?" Harry asked rather terrified. He then looked at his arm. "This, i- its nothing." He attempted to hide the rest of his scars by pulling down his sleeves. Severus noticed Harry trying to do this and grabbed his arms.  
  
"What are these?" Severus roared. Not bothering for and answer he yelled, "How long has this been going on for?"  
  
"N-not long. I swear. Harry managed to stutter as he cowered away from Severus.  
  
"These scars are old." Severus replied and he was telling the truth. Many of them had the pinkish look of newly healed skin and some of them were already white and fading.  
  
Severus jerked Harry from his seat by the lake and muttered, "We're going to see the Headmaster."  
  
Harry was in shock. He was reliving every moment Vernon Dursley had with him. Harry was slowing down and Severus jerked his arm and tugged him forward. "Come on," Severus said his voice little more than a growl.  
  
But Harry didn't hear him he was remembering one particularly bad incident with Vernon.  
~~Flashback~~  
It was this past summer. Right after Harry stopped writing the letters. Vernon Dursley was outraged. The boy couldn't write any letters. The stupid child just wasn't trying. "Come on, boy, up to your room. You're getting  
punished."  
Harry remembered himself crying. Begging for forgiveness, but his uncle  
wouldn't listen. The only thing he'd reply was, "Freaks don't deserve forgiveness." He was dragged to his room and beaten severely. Harry could almost feel the blows from Vernon. Feel the knife cutting into his skin.  
Then, the worst thing of all happened.  
  
Severus stopped, Harry wouldn't keep walked he was visibly shaking. Severus didn't care it was probably just some stunt Harry was trying to pull in an attempt to get out of trouble. Severus lightly slapped Harry on the side of the face, "Snap out of it, Potter. It doesn't matter what you pull you are not getting out having to see Dumbledore."  
  
It wasn't working at all. The only thing the slap did was make Harry cringe and hide his face. "Dammit boy! You are going to see the Headmaster NOW!" Severus bellowed. This did not make the boy snap into obedience as usual. It caused Harry to try and jerk his arm out of Severus's grasp and push his small body into the wall.  
  
"Shit!" Severus said softly, "What am I going to do now?" He looked at the small boy before him. The boy looked so innocent, but his eyes held a haunted look. If the eyes were the door to the soul, there was something wrong with Harry. His eyes had the look of something broken beyond fixing.  
  
"Potter, I'm going to go get the Headmaster, stay here." Severus said softly. Harry looked at him with unseeing eyes. Severus rushed down the hallway towards Dumbledore's office.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Draco Malfoy was worried. Har-Potter had returned to the school but he was being dragged by Professor Snape. Harry had such a terrified look in his. It reminded Draco of the way his father's eyes had looked after he broke out of Azkaban. The Dementors were very reluctant to leave the prison. They really weren't loyal to Fudge, but many of them probably remembered what it was like after Voldemort was defeated. It was hell for them.  
  
Draco was slowly walking the hallways, looking for Potter. He really didn't know why he bothered, but the boy looked as if someone needed to talk to him. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Back in the hallway.....  
  
Harry was slowly coming back to his surroundings. He was in a hallway. Hard to tell if that was either good or bad. He heard footsteps; this was bad, very bad. Footsteps never seemed to bring anyone good in Harry's life. The footsteps came closer; the footsteps were light, as if they were from someone who was used to sneaking around. Vernon Dursley had quiet footsteps, unless he was drunk. Harry huddled toward the wall as if trying to become part of it. The footsteps came closer still... Harry's heart was hammering. The owner of the footsteps turned the corner.  
  
It was Malfoy.  
  
Harry let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Malfoy shouldn't want to hurt him too much.  
  
Draco found Harry huddled against a wall. "God, Potter, what the hell are you doing?" he asked. Harry looked like hell. He was beyond pale. He looked almost translucent. Harry didn't answer. "Well?" Draco asked.  
  
"N-nothing." Harry replied quietly. He just wanted Draco to go away. He wanted to be left alone.  
  
"You know what. I shouldn't even bother any more. I actually go out to figure out if you're being viciously murdered by some crazed Death Eater wannabe. I figured he was probably decapitating you. Voldemort would probably have a field day. He'd take your head mount it on a pike, put it in front of the Ministry of Magic or maybe right here in front of Hogwarts and let the world see their hero." Draco ranted.  
  
Harry sat in silence waiting for Draco to finish. "I'm no hero," he said quietly, "I'm just a murderous freak. I end up killing everyone around me."  
  
Draco was silent. Harry seemed to lose all of his self confidence as well as much of his sanity. He was about to turn around and leave when he heard two rather angry voices. "Draco Malfoy! What do you think you are doing out of your dormitory?" Severus yelled.  
  
"Mr. Malfoy, I'm afraid I will have to-" Albus started.  
  
"Give you detention with... me." Severus sneered.  
  
"Don't give him detention," a soft voice said, "I distracted him; he was heading to his common room and I wouldn't let him pass." Harry lied.  
  
"Very well, Mr. Malfoy, no detention for being out of your room." Severus said. Draco exhaled. He was out of detention. "Mr. Malfoy! Could you choose to breathe any louder? Detention for breathing too loud after curfew. Now get back to your room before I feel like taking away house points." Severus snapped. Malfoy silently walked down the hall toward the Slytherin common room.  
  
"Now Mr. Potter, I do believe you have some explaining to do about a certain knife." Dumbledore said.  
  
Harry silently got up and walked with Dumbledore and Snape to Dumbledore's office. Albus quietly whispered the password, "Beef Jerky." The office was much different from last year. Fawkes was looking much older. All the portraits were sleeping, as usual, except for Sirius's relative, Phineaus*. Harry didn't even have the heart to look at the painting. Dumbledore's desk was almost empty. Harry silently recalled the night of Sirius's death. Smashing all of Dumbledore's belongings trying to vent his anger and his pain.  
  
Harry sat down in one of the numerous chairs around Dumbledore's desk. "Lemon Drop?" Dumbledore offered. Harry declined. "Now, Harry, what were you doing out by the lake tonight?"  
  
Silence  
  
"Dammit boy! The Headmaster asked you a question, you better answer it!" Severus yelled. Harry curled into a ball and attempted to become one with the chair.  
  
"Now Severus," Dumbledore said in his usual calm demeanor, "That is no way to speak to your son. You should act like a father."  
  
"He doesn't think I'm his son. I'm just the problem that he created with my mother, he probably figured she was just some mudblood, it doesn't matter what happens, she's just a mudblood." Harry said bitterly.  
  
Severus slapped Harry, "Don't you dare talk about me and your mother that way," Severus said through gritted teeth. Harry looked at Severus in shock. Severus actually hit him. Harry touched the side of his mouth and his hand came away with blood.  
  
The tears were pooling in Harry's eyes. He never did anything right. "Now, Harry, it's all right. We just need to talk about a few things and then you can go to bed. Now we know what you were doing with that knife. This is your free pass, if we see any more scars; you will be in major trouble. Got it?" Harry nodded. "Now give me the knife." Harry was rather reluctant to give up his knife, but he ended up giving it up. "Ok, now that's all for tonight, why don't we help you to your dormitory."  
  
Albus helped Harry get up. When Severus went to help him Harry shrunk away. Severus just stood in the office, his eyes never leaving the little bit of blood in the corner of his lip.  
  
Harry was silent all the way to the portrait of the fat lady. "The password is 'Carpe Diem.' Got it? Good. Sleep well, Harry."  
  
The common room was exactly the same as it was last year. Harry walked up the staircase to the 6th year boy's dormitory. Everyone was asleep and soon Harry fell into a light slumber.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Harry woke early the next morning and cast the glamour charm on himself. Surprisingly, it wasn't painful. He got dressed and walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast.  
  
Harry was lucky; there were hardly any students in the Great Hall at that time. He was the only Griffindor. There were probably about ten students total. When Harry sat down, Professor McGonagall gave Harry a schedule. It was basically the same classes as last year, only at a NEWT level.  
  
Harry ate quickly and was lucky enough to avoid most of the students. He was on his way out when someone called his name. "OY! Harry over here." It was Ron he was motioning for Harry to sit by him and Hermione. Harry shook his head no and left the Great Hall.  
  
He was in the hallway when someone grabbed his shoulder. Wand at the ready, Harry turned to face someone he figured he wouldn't have to face for a long time.  
  
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Author's Note: So... How was that chapter? Good? Bad? Horrendous? You know I would like to hear what you have to say. If anyone would like for me to tell them when I get the next chapter out, send me a review asking so with your email address in it. And then, when I have the next chapter out, I'll email you.  
  
Oh yeah, and one strange request, anyone have any recommendations for a fanfic to read? I spend so much time reading them that I can't seem to find any good ones. I pretty much prefer Harry Potter, though. 


	10. Chapter 10

Lost and Afraid  
  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
  
Random Quote: "If looks could really kill, then my profession would be staring."  
  
Author's Note: Yeah.. I guess that last chapter was a little bit mean. OMG! Guess what! (waits patiently for an answer) Four people have me on their Favorite Authors list. YAY!   
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Harry spun around, wand at the ready. The site before him made him gasp. Sirius was there. "Sirius?" Harry asked shakily.   
  
"Yeah, its me Harry." Sirius replied. There was something strange about him.  
  
"T-t-they said you were dead." Harry stuttered.  
  
"You didn't question that? You never wondered what happened to me?" Sirius asked. "You didn't even try to save me."  
  
Harry was shocked. "Remus said you died."  
  
"Remus? You believed Remus? You didn't even see for your self?"  
  
"I-i couldn't. He held me back." Harry said practically sobbing.  
  
"You know, I'm dead now. I lived through weeks of pain, knowing that YOU would come. You never came," Sirius stated. "I figured, the kid that essentially caused my death, would come and try to save me."  
  
Harry was silent. Sirius said it WAS his fault he died. It was his fault. He was only a cold blooded murderer.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Harry was sitting in the hallway silently contemplating his existence. There were footsteps coming down the hallway. They were slow, unhurried steps. "Bloody hell, Potter, what are you doing?" a voice asked.   
  
Harry turned, it was Draco. "Why do you care?" he asked.   
  
"Because I feel like it. Besides, it looks like the rest of the little Griffindorks abandoned you. And if they haven't they sure will when they find out who your good old daddy is."  
  
"What? How do you know? Who told you?" Harry practically yelled.   
  
  
  
"Oh. I have my sources," Draco started. Harry glared, "err.. Professor Snape told me after I found you in the hallway."   
  
"Oh." was all Harry would say.   
  
  
  
Draco looked at his watch then swore. "Shit! We're going to be late for Potions!" Draco and Harry raced down to the dungeons and made it just in time.   
  
Everyone had a Potions partner, except for Harry and Draco. They sat on opposite sides of the room alone.  
  
Severus swept into the dungeon. "Mr. Malfoy, partner with Mr. Potter." Severus mumbled.   
  
"But Professor-" Malfoy started.  
  
"I don't care Mr. Malfoy," Severus said simply.  
  
"Professor," Malfoy continued, "I don't want to be partnered with a Griffidork"  
  
"Mr. Malfoy, I do not feel like tolerating you. Detention with me tonight. And Potter, detention for distracting your classmates."  
  
Potions did not get much better. Neville was almost reduced to tears. Snape took at least seventy-five points from Griffindor. And gave at least that much to Slytherin.  
  
Harry met up with Ron in the Great Hall for lunch. There were many people in the hall; but Harry attempted to tolerate it.   
  
"Snape is a real git lately isn't he?" Ron complained between mouthfuls of food.   
  
"He probably has a lot on his mind lately," Harry replied absentmindedly, completely unconcerned with his food.  
  
"Harry why aren't you eating?" Hermione asked.   
  
'Damn her,' Harry thought, 'she's so observant.' "Oh, I'm just not hungry," Harry replied.  
  
"You should eat you know," Hermione chided.  
  
"Well, maybe I don't want to eat. Did you ever think of that? Maybe I'm gwtting used to eating a square meal? Or are you just completely ignorant?" Harry blew up. Unconcerned with that Hermione was silently crying or that Ron was shooting daggers at him; Harry picked up his books and left.  
  
Harry left the Great Hall unaware of the black eyes and the silver grey eyes following him out.   
  
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Author's Note: Yeah, its a pretty crap ass chapter.... its kinda short, too. This chapter was pretty pesky to get out.... grrr....  
  
Oh yeah... many thanks to leggylover03, tia, and especially Anora for the super cool fic suggestions. 


	11. Chapter 11

Lost and Afraid  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.... (Damn)  
  
Random Quote: "What we do in life; echoes in eternity" - Maximus, Gladiator  
  
Author's Note: ...Should I make this a Harry/Draco slash? Or should I bring in a new character or something? Thanks for the reviews guys. They make me feel special. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Just minutes after Harry left the Great Hall; Draco left, taking the same path as Harry.  
  
Draco was silently following Harry down the hallway. Harry was veering left and right as if trying to loose some unseen stalker. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Harry was concentrating on one thing only; escape. His mind was racing. He needed to stop. He needed to breathe. He needed to live; or die.  
  
Harry stopped right outside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. No one would be in there he would have some peace. He walked into the bathroom; no one there; peace; quiet. Harry pulled out his knife and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. Now was the time. Now was his chance for some peace.  
  
He stopped and he thought. 'What would Dumbledore say? What would Snape say? What would his friends say?'  
  
"No. They don't care. I've got no one left," Harry said, listening to the sound reverberate off the wall.  
  
A voice came from the shadows, "If you kill yourself, Potter, what would happen to the rest of the world?"  
  
Harry thought before answering. The shadows were talking to him. Maybe he was crazy. He was the freak his uncle told him he was. Shadows spoke to him, dead people spoke to him. "Why do I care what happens to the rest of the world?" Harry asked the shadows, "It's not like they give a shit about me," Harry said with finality as he brought the knife closer to his wrist. "I'm just a freak," Harry muttered, "No one cares," he said as he slashed the knife deeply into his wrist.  
  
He watched with fascination as the blood flowed freely from his wrist. Draco ran from the shadows. "Potter! What are you doing?" Draco yelled as he tried to grab Harry to drag him to the Hospital Wing.  
  
Some hidden force pushed Draco back. 'Shit!' Draco thought as he shakily got to his feet. He looked over at Harry. The blood was pooling around him.  
  
Harry fell back, unconscious; the barriers that were protecting him fell. After quickly check over Harry, Draco ran to the Great Hall to get Severus. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Severus was eating his breakfast; when Draco came running into the Great Hall. "Professor," he panted, "Potter, in the bathroom; suicide."  
  
"What?" Severus hissed, already getting up from his seat.  
  
"Harry was in the bathroom and he said that no one cared and-and he cut himself, I tried to stop him but I got thrown back," Draco hastily replied, his aristocratic air gone.  
  
Severus rushed down to the bathroom and found Harry on the floor. In a pool of blood. "Harry," Severus said softly while picking up the frail boy, "Wake up Harry, please. Wake up." The unconscious body of Harry seemed to flinch at Severus's touch. "Come on Harry," he continued, "You have to wake up."  
  
Harry moaned; Severus got up and rushed down to the Hospital Wing completely oblivious to the fact that most of the student population was staring at him and the bloody body of Harry Potter. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Severus flew down to the Hospital Wing. "Poppy! Poppy get over here! Quick!" he yelled incapable of hiding the panic in his voice.  
  
Madame Pomphrey rushed into the Hospital Wing from her office, "Yes Se-" she began before immediately snapping into nurse mode. "Put him on the bed and give me some room." She began administering several different potions. After a few minutes she turned to Severus, "What happened?" she whispered.  
  
"I don't know...."Severus started, "Draco said he tried to kill himself."  
  
"Well, that's rather obvious," she started, "He lost a lot of blood, he was hardly living when you brought him in. Why would he try to kill himself?" she asked.  
  
Albus stepped out of the shadows, "Poppy," he started, "This will all be discussed after Mr. Potter wakes. About how long would that be?"  
  
"It all depends, he could wake in a couple hours; but he will probably wake sometime tomorrow," she answered.  
  
"Very well, we shall speak with Mr. Potter tomorrow then," Albus said the ever present twinkle in his eye gone. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
The next afternoon, Harry woke. 'Well,' he thought, 'this is a surprise.' Slowly he sat up to get his glasses. "Lay down," a voice said from above him, "Unless, of course, you would like to receive your punishment earlier."  
  
Harry shook, "Y-yes, sir," Harry replied, he found out that the way to receive punishment was with respect.  
  
A few hours or minutes later; Harry did not know; he was being shook. "Get up Harry," A gentle yet harsh voice said, "We have things to discuss."  
  
Harry sat up; slowly, as glasses were put on his face. The world swam into focus. Dumbledore, Pomphrey. And, surprisingly, Snape were there.  
  
Dumbledore continued, "Harry, why did you try to commit suicide?" he asked.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Harry why did you try to commit suicide?" he repeated.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Ok, then. Harry, did you even think of your friends or your family?"  
  
Again, silence.  
  
"Dammit boy, answer the questions!" Severus ordered.  
  
A soft voice answered, "My friends are far too naïve to ever understand what goes on in my head and I have no family."  
  
Albus, a bit shocked at Harry's answers, asked, "What about Severus, your father?"  
  
A dead, monotone voice answered, "He is my father but not my family."  
  
"Well, Mr. Potter, we will be back later," Albus said as he stepped away from the bed. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Albus stopped walking right out of Harry's earshot. "Severus, I believe Harry may have lost his mind. His answers are monotone; lifeless. It seems as if he died on the inside and his heart doesn't know his mind wants it to end."  
  
"Albus, that is preposterous. The boy is lying. I say we should slip him some veritaserum, it will explain every thing." Severus said.  
  
"We shall attempt that...If he finds out he will never trust us again." Albus replied and walked out of the room.  
  
Severus muttered, "Like the boy had out trust in the first place." ________________________________________________________________________  
  
A few hours later; Harry was already attempting to walk around the Hospital Wing, but Madam Pomphrey kept making him lay back down.  
  
Albus walked into the room. "Ah, Poppy do you mind if I treat Mr. Potter to some tea in my office?'  
  
"No, just make sure he doesn't over exert himself," Madame Pomphrey replied.  
  
The walk to Albus's office was silent. Albus tried several times to engage in conversation with Harry, but Harry wouldn't speak.  
  
Albus whispered the password to the gargoyle (Scrumdidliumptious) and entered the office. The tea was already sitting on his desk.  
  
"Here, enjoy yourself," Albus said. Harry sipped his tea cautiously. A blank expression appeared on his face. "Is your name Harry James Potter?" Albus asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Very well. Why did you attempt to commit suicide the other day?"  
  
"Because I was sick of it all. Sick of being the savior of the Wizarding World. Sick of be the Boy-Who-Lived. Sick of being a murderous freak."  
  
"Ok, what happened at the house of Mr. Vernon Dursley this summer?"  
  
"He hurt me. He hit me. He did a lot of stuff." Harry's answers were becoming rough, he was fighting the veritaserum.  
  
"Were you raped by Vernon Dursley many times this summer?"  
  
There was one word until all hell broke loose in that office, "Yes." A look of dawning appeared on Harry's eyes. "W-what did you make me say?" he asked, "What did I say? What did you do?"  
  
"You said several things but now we have to discuss a more important matter. You can no longer stay in the Griffindor Tower. You are going to stay with Professor Snape."  
  
The words seemed to reverberate off the walls, "What?" Harry asked.  
  
"You are going to stay with your father. You stayed with him all summer. Did you not?"  
  
"Yes...but...I..." Harry was at a loss for words Dumbledore betrayed him.  
  
"Ah, I understand, let's just call him down," Albus threw some sand like stuff into the fireplace and yelled, Severus Snape. Snape's head appeared in the fireplace.  
  
"Yes Albus?" Severus asked.  
  
"Hate to bother you but Mr. Potter here would like you to-" The office door slammed shut, "Never mind, he should be don there in a couple of minutes."  
  
Albus leaned back in his chair. He lost Harry's trust, possibly for forever.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ____  
  
Albus was right, just minutes after Severus left the fireplace Harry walked into the room. He mumbled a quiet, "I'm going," and went into his room. He came back out a minute later and headed for the door. It was locked. He looked Severus in the eye, "Let me out."  
  
Severus paused and examined the boy, the boy looked exhausted, "No."  
  
"Fine," Harry said, "I'll just unlock it myself," he reached into his pocket and found...air. "Where's my wand?" he asked.  
  
"Somewhere where a spoiled little boy can't find," Severus sneered. Harry flinched. "Albus had me confiscate it until I believe you are ready to get it back. Besides you won't want to go out there anyway. The school knows."  
  
"Knows what?" Harry asked.  
  
"Of your parentage. Mr. Weasley brought down your belongings and said something about 'lying dark wizards' that could live in the Slytherin rooms for all he cared," Severus sneered excitedly looking for the look of loss on Harry's face.  
  
He saw a look like that but it was a thousand times worst. It looked as if Harry's entire world was falling down. The strict shields Harry put between him and his emotions were gone. His face showed all of his emotions. The dominant emotion was despair. Harry began muttering to himself, "See they all do hate you. They do. You freak." Harry walked into his room and sat on his bed. Repeating over and over, "They all hate you. You freak." He was so stuck in his mind; Harry didn't hear the door open and shut. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____  
  
Severus was disturbed, he was hoping to get Harry to yell and vent out surpressed emotions but the only thing he got was proof that his child was most likely crazy. H  
  
He stopped in front of the Slytherin Common Room. He gave the password (Potter sucks) and entered. He found who he was looking for. Draco was hidden in the shadows of the room. "Draco," Severus said, "Come with me." Without question Draco got up and followed Severus out of the room.  
  
Severus stopped in front of the entrance to his rooms. "Draco, I need you to do something very important. This is of the up most importance, but it is absolutely confidential. Got it?"  
  
"Yeah, but what exactly am I supposed to do?"  
  
"I want you to convice my son that he isn't a freak and that he is sane." ____________________________________________________________________________ ____  
  
Author's Note: .... Did you guys enjoy it? Review and tell me if I should make this a Harry/Draco slash? 


	12. Chapter 12

Lost and Afraid  
  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. Except for maybe the plot (if I have one) and any original characters I haven't bothered to make up.  
  
Author's Note: Okey dokey; I got like a gazillion reviews for last chapter. Many thanks to everyone who reviewed. Now some of you guys said yes to slash, a couple said whatever and a bunch of you guys said no. So, I probably won't make this slash. Harry and Draco will be friends, (duh!).... Oh, yeah and one note for flamers; if you're going to waste your time telling me my story sucks, you don't have to tell me it sucks every chapter; just tell me in the last chapter.   
  
So this chapter will be mostly Draco's background story.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Draco stared at Severus. "What?" he asked.   
  
Severus repeated, "I want you to make sure my son is not totally and completely insane.   
  
Draco sighed, "Whatever."  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Draco walked into Severus's private chambers. His eyes not bothering to take in any of the details having been in the room several times. He walked what he presumed was Harry's room.   
  
"Harry," Draco called, receiving no answer he called again, "Harry? Where'd you go?" Draco was slowly searching the room. He looked under the bed expecting to find a sock or perhaps a few dust bunnies. He found two green eyes staring out at him. "Come on Harry," Draco said in a calm reassuring voice, "You gotta get out from under here."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Harry, are you going to spend your entire life under here? What about Voldemort? What about Severus? What about Ron and Hermione?" At the mention of his former friend's names Harry just shrunk farther back underneath the bed.   
  
Draco slowly walked out of the room. Severus was sitting in the living room staring into the fire. "Severus," Draco said quietly, "What happened between Harry and his friends?"  
  
Severus was silently staring into the fire; he was contemplating the same thing. 'What really happened between them' Severus asked himself. It was a minute before he answered, "Mr. Weasly had reason to believe that I was turning Harry in my dark heir. He thought Harry lied about what was going on over the summer. He's convinced I'm training Harry into being a Death Eater. Or something. I don't know. I guess it all started when the school found out I'm Harry's father. Mr. Weasly was jumping to conclusions; he overreacted."   
  
Draco was silent, he just turned around and headed back into Harry's room.   
  
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Scared, scared, so sorry, betrayed, freak, so sorry, abandoned, freak, murderer, scared, scared. Words bouncing from Harry's mind to the room, ricocheting off the walls.  
  
Harry was back to mumbling. He was hardly aware of doing so. He was just so scared. Everyone was so mad. Most of it was at him. "So sorry," Harry mumbled over and over.   
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Harry was still under the bed. Although worried about Harry; Draco wouldn't force him out from underneath his little haven.   
  
"Harry, I highly doubt you're listening but, I'm worried, Sev's worried, come out, please," Draco practically pleaded. The was silence. "Ok, then, Harry, since you don't seem to be in a mood to talk, I'll talk to you..... Well, over the summer; my father broke out of Azkaban. When he came back, he was half crazy. Voldemort didn't see the point in breaking him out. He was stuck there. He came back raving about the spirits of the people he killed. Voldemort was going to kill him; but then all of a sudden he was back. It was odd. It seemed like such an act.  
  
"Well, turns out, father talked to Dumbledore. Dumbledore convinced him to spy for the light side. I have no idea how he managed for as long as he did. He had regained his old composure and everything but it was just an act. It wore him down. He slipped up. Once. Just once. Voldemort had him killed. He died. Just like that. It was over; it was just one slip up.   
  
  
  
"It was my fault he slipped, too. I told him to stop putting up such an act. I folled him outside, told him I was going to tell Dumbledore to have him stop spying. Someone heard. I just know it. Because, my father never came back. I killed him."  
  
Draco was sitting in a chair beside Harry's bed, "I killed my father," Draco repeated.  
  
"No, not really. You just did the right thig. I killed the closest thing to a father I ever had," a soft voiced Harry said, "And he hates me for it. He blames me for his death."  
  
Draco, shocked that Harry was lucid, managed to choke out, "How do you know? It's not like you can actually see these people. They're dead, you can't bring them back."  
  
"I know because I saw him. He SAID it was my fault."  
  
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Author's Note: Okey dokey; this chapters kinda short but it kinda explains somethings...I think. OMG I have 98 reviews!! YAY!! 


	13. Chapter 13

Lost and Afraid  
  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own any of it. Just a fan driven by boredom to do something with their life.  
  
Author's Note: OMG I have over 100 reviews. Congratulations to Leggylover03 who was my 100th reviewer.  
  
Draco looked over at Harry. "What?" he asked, "What do you mean you saw him and he told you."  
  
Harry thought a minute before answering, "I saw him when I was in the hallway the other day. He told me he was waiting for me to come save him and I never saved him," Harry said quietly.  
  
"That's weird..." Draco said absentmindedly, "Did you ask anyone about that?"  
  
"No.... wouldn't want to give anyone any other reason to thing I'm a freak," Harry answered bitterly.  
  
Draco got up and was halfway out of the room, he turned around and answered Harry, "Not everyone hates you."  
  
Draco found Severus sitting in his living room in the exact position he left him in. He sat down beside his guardian, "I got him to talk," Draco said.  
  
"Oh really?" Severus said, "How did you accomplish this?"  
  
"I dunno, I was just talking and then he talked back," Draco said.  
  
"I see," Severus replied.  
  
Draco, sensing that Severus was a bit distracted, got up and left bidding his guardian good night.  
  
Severus stared into the fire, completely lost in thoughts. Many of those thoughts centered around Harry. He was brought out of his thoughts by a muffled cry. 'Harry,' Severus thought frantically.   
  
When he rushed into Harry's room, Harry was silent; but he was moving as if trying to dodge some unseen attacker. Thinking quickly, Severus cast an anti-silencing charm. Harry started whimpering.  
  
Severus rushed over to Harry's side. "Harry, wake up," he said quietly. No response. "Harry, come on, wake up," Severus said. Harry stopped moving. Severus left the room and got a vial of Dreamless Sleep potion and set it on Harry's bedside table. Harry still wasn't moving. Severus left hoping that the awakened Harry would choose to talk to him rather than fake sleeping.  
  
Severus sat back down on his couch in front of the fire, getting lost in his thoughts. A few minutes later Harry came out and sat on the couch, a far as possible from Severus. Severus tried to open his mouth but no words came out.  
  
A few more minutes of silence later Harry spoke, "I-it wasn't about V-voldemort. It was U-uncle V-vernon," Harry stuttered, "H-he was h-hitting me a-and-" Harry's voice broke.   
  
Severus slid closer to Harry and put an arm around his shoulders. Harry flinched, "It's ok," Severus said quietly. Harry mumbled something. "What?" Severus asked.  
  
"Sorry," Harry mumbled eyes not leaving the ground, "Sorry for being here. Sorry for being bad. Sorry for everything."  
  
Severus was speechless. "You don't need to apologize for anything," Severus said softly as he slid back over to his side of the couch. Harry curled up and stared into the fire seemingly lost in his thoughts.  
  
Severus's eyes returned to the fire as he thoughts turned to Lily, Harry's mother. "Would you like to hear about your mother?" Severus asked. Harry was silent, he was asleep.  
  
The next morning Draco cornered Ron outside of the Great Hall. "What do you want Malfoy?" Ron asked.  
  
"Maybe I just want to torture you..." Draco answered absently, "Or maybe I want to ask you what the hell you abandoned Harry... for no apparent reason I might add, and then torture you," Draco said.  
  
"Well, maybe I don't want to be friends with a Death Eater in training," Ron said.  
  
Draco whipped out his wand and pointed it at Ron's forehead, "You don't deserve to even know him let alone be friends with him," Draco spat with malice.   
  
"Oh.... I see how it is," Ron said, "It seems that Malfoy has a crush on someone. I wonder what your father would say if he found out that his son has a crush on The-Boy-Who-Lived,"  
  
Draco decked Ron, causing his nose to break. "My father is dead," he said. And a swift kick in the ribs later he said, "Why would you care if I did?"  
  
Severus saw the entire scene from the shadows, "Mr. Malfoy! Are you fighting in the hallway?" he asked.  
  
"Of course not, Professor Snape," Draco answered.  
  
"Very well. Mr. Weasley, 5 points from Griffindor for loitering in the hallway." Ron trudged down to the Hospital Wing.  
  
"Professor," Draco asked, "Where's Harry?"  
  
"Harry said he will down here shortly. Why don't you wait for him and seat him at the Slytherin table. I have already told them that if they start anything with you or Harry they will suffer a slow and painful death at the hands of Filch," Snape replied with a grin as he turned around and walked into the Great Hall.  
  
Draco was waiting only a few minutes when Harry silently trudged down the hall. "Hey," Draco said with as much merriment as he could muster, "Prof-Severus said you could sit at the Slytherin table."  
  
Harry made half an attempt at a smile as he and Draco walked into the Great Hall. Draco pushed open the doors.  
  
When the doors opened all heads turned. Draco confidently walked over to the Slytherin tables pausing only to glare at the Griffindors.   
  
Harry looked toward toward the Griffindor table in hopes of seeing a friendly face. There were none. He sighed and walked over toward the Slytherin table and sat next to Draco. Several people looked rather shocked at the idea of Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, sitting at the Slytherin table next to his alleged enemy, Draco Malfoy.  
  
Once he sat down at the table Harry realized one thing, he really didn't know these people. Harry just sat there silently playing with his food waiting someone to tell him to leave. No one told him to leave. No one told him it was just some intricate joke. In fact, no one said anything to him.  
  
Harry was brought out of his stupor when someone called his name. "Harry, I've been calling you for like ten minutes," Draco said.  
  
"Sorry," Harry muttered, "Wasn't paying attention."  
  
"So, have you ever met Blaise?" Draco asked. Harry stared at him blankly. "OK then, Harry this is Blaise," Draco said gesturing to the boy sitting beside him.  
  
"Hi," Harry said softly.  
  
"Hey," Blaise said while moving some of his long black hair out of his eyes.  
  
"And here is Arriana," Draco said while pointing to girl with brown hair.   
  
"Hey," Harry said.  
  
"Hi," she said humbly.  
  
"C'mon guys," Draco said, "we're going to be late for Potions."   
  
The entire gang left the Great Hall, oblivious to the danger that loomed ahead.   
  
Author's Note:... ehh... this chapter was pretty much pointless... Something will happen in the next chapter... I promise 


	14. Chapter 14

Lost and Afraid  
  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.  
  
Random Quote: "The cat will mew and the dog will have his day." -Hamlet, 'Hamlet' by William Shakespeare  
  
"If you can imagine this; the whole world sharing one big kiss. These are thoughts in through my brain; that I daydream everyday;  
  
.....I'm caught up in a dream. Im gonna wish for it all; No ones gonna tell me how; No wait this is my dream now" - "Caught in a Dream', Tesla  
  
On the way down to the dungeons, Harry was turning into a nervous wreck. Didn't Severus still have to put up his act? If he didn't do something, what would the Griffindors do? So many questions, so few answers.  
  
Harry entered the Potions classroom extremely nervous, most of the kids in this room hated him, with a passion. He took a seat in the back of the room, next to Blaise, hoping to not attract attention.   
  
Just seconds after the class began, Severus stormed into the room, robes flowing behind him dramatically. "This is NEWT level Potions, there will be no room for mistakes. These potions require an amount of patience and skill many of you people don't have. We will be beginning with a simple calming draught." The class stared at Severus blankly. "Get started," he barked. Harry flinched at the harsh tone.  
  
Harry's eyes grew wide when he saw the potion. This was not an easy potion. There was hardly any chance on him getting it right.  
  
Severus paced the room apprehensively, everyone knew Harry was his son but Voldemort didn't know that he actually liked the boy. He stopped in front of Draco's cauldron. "Fair," he said simply. Then, he moved onto Harry and Blaise's cauldron. It was perfect, almost, there was a bit too many newt eyes in it. "You're lucky," he started, "just one more newt eye and your entire potion would have exploded and doused the room in a very painful potion. Any idea what it is?" he asked, Hermione's hand shot into the air. "Ms. Granger?"  
  
"It is a rather crude potion form of the Cruciatus curse, sir," Hermione said meekly.  
  
"Surprisingly, correct. And how may I ask did you learn this?" he said scathingly. Hermione said nothing. "Ten points from Griffindor for looking up how to brew a dangerous potion." Hermione looked like she was going to cry, Harry allowed a small smile to play across his face. "Now get back to work," he barked. Harry jumped again.  
  
Towards the end of class, Harry was getting ready to bottle his potion, when he stole a look at Ron. He wanted a glance at the person who ditched him when he needed him the most. But, most of all, he wanted a look at his ex-best friend. It was by chance that Ron looked at Harry when Harry looked at him. Ron glared, Harry lowered his eyes as he felt then watering.  
  
Ot of the corner of his eye, Harry saw a newt eye fly into his cauldron. Without thinking, Harry pushed Blaise down cast a quick shield around the cauldron, with him inside it. Harry was about to redo the shield when BOOM! The entire potion exploded.  
  
Severus saw the potion explode, and his heart broke to pieces when he saw it take affect. Harry's eyes screwed shut as he tried not to scream. "Everyone out!" he bellowed. Ron and Hermione tried to stay behind. Severus looked at Ron with disgust, "What do you want?" he spat.  
  
"We wanted to make sure Harry was OK," Hermione said.   
  
"Well, he will, but next time, if I see you, Mr. Weasley, even attempt to put something in anyone else's potion, I will have you in detention for the rest of your natural born life," Severus said with malice. Ron paled. "I thought I said out?" he asked. They fled.   
  
Harry was drenched in the potion. At first he was hoping that he had done it wrong and he wouldn't be feeling an excruciatingly large amount of pain. His hopes were in vain, for his potion was flawless and the potion took affect. He dropped to the ground and screwed his eyes shut. He started twitching. He was trying not to scream.   
  
It got to the point where he could no longer resist screaming. He started screaming. He was getting dizzy and he was hardly staying conscious. Harry was about to give up when he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. It was strange he didn't feel the need to flinch away. Harry knew it wasn't going to harm him.  
  
A few seconds later, Harry felt himself being picked up and taken down the hall. He hadn't gone far when his mind slowly slipping away. It seemed that he lost his fight with unconsciousness.  
  
Severus was grateful when Harry lost consciousness. He got to his and Harry's rooms. He set Harry on the couch and went to his lab to brew a potion for the aftereffects of the Cruciatus.  
  
Author's Note: Yeah pretty lame chapter and its like short.... wasn't feeling very inspired.. next one'll be longer... I swear


	15. Chapter 15

Lost and Afraid  
  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for this like plot thingy...  
  
Random Quote: "Two wrongs don't make a right... but three rights make a left." (Not quite sure where I originally heard that...)  
  
Author's Note: Sorry guys.. that last chapter was super short  
  
Harry slowly came to consciousness. The first thing he noticed was that he HURT. All over. He opened his eyes, slowly. The sight that was before him shocked him.   
  
Severus was next to him, asleep. He looked absolutely exhausted. Harry mentally berated himself for causing all this trouble.  
  
Harry was about to get up when he realized one thing. He felt safe. Safe from Dark Lords, Death Eaters, and ex-best friends. For one brief moment Harry thought that he would no longer have to cut any more and he actually thought that he would last through this war.  
  
That thought was shattered when Severus woke up with a groan. 'Oh no...' Harry thought, 'I've been such a bother... He's going to be so mad.' Harry slowly got up and tried to sneak out before Severus was fully awake.  
  
He wasn't even a foot away from the couch when Harry's legs gave out, and he fell, right onto Severus. Severus groaned again. "Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm going to go now," Harry was babbling.   
  
Severus grabbed Harry's arms. "Its ok, Harry. Calm down," Severus said reassuringly.   
  
Harry froze, "You're not mad?" he asked.  
  
"Why would I?" he replied.  
  
"All the trouble I caused.... I mean... I completely messed up your laboratory. And it sounded like you were in a lot of pain..." Harry was babbling again, "I just mess up everything... No one wants me anymore..." Harry's babbling was interrupted by the angry tears that were leaking out of his eyes.  
  
Severus was at a loss of words. "What do you mean you no one wants you?"  
  
Harry was silent. Severus shook Harry's shoulder reassuringly. Harry was silent for a few minutes before he spoke, "I mean, look at everyone in my life.... something bad happens to everyone I know. Look at Cedric and Sirius. Its either that or they hate me for something I can't change. Ron and all the Griffindors hate me for just being related to you. Uncle Vernon hates me because I'm a wizard. Voldemort hates me just because I'm alive. And you hated me just because I looked like someone who you despised as a child. See..." Harry said, his words being muffled by his sobs, "No one wants me."   
  
Severus couldn't resist wrapping his arms around Harry. Harry flinched. "Sorry," Severus said.  
  
"Not your fault," Harry mumbled.  
  
Just then, Severus got a fire call from Albus, "Severus," the head of Albus said, "Could you meet me in my office?"  
  
Mentally cursing the headmaster into oblivion, Severus stood and walked toward the fire. "Don't get up, you're still weak. I'll be back in a couple of minutes." Harry nodded.  
  
In Albus's office, there stood a very angry Mrs. Weasley and a Ron Weasley cowering in a seat. "Ahh, Severus, its a pleasure to have you here," Albus started.  
  
While mentally gouging out Ron's eyes with a dull wooden spoon, Severus faked a smile, "What exactly do you need, Albus?"  
  
"Me, I need nothing, Molly, here, would like a word with you about this mornings Potion class."  
  
Severus broke out into an evil smile, "Well, Molly, it seems as if Mr. Weasley has a problem with Mr. Pot- Snape."  
  
Back in Severus's rooms, Harry was sitting in misery, he didn't like being in the dark and he REALLY didn't like sitting alone. He was to the point of going out of his mind when there was a soft knock on the door. Slowly Harry got off the couch and headed toward the door. "Draco," Harry said simply.  
  
"Hey Harry, is Severus around?" Draco asked.  
  
"No, went to talk to Dumbledore. I'll see you around, ok?"  
  
"Can I just wait for him with you?" Draco asked.  
  
Harry thought a minute before answering, "I'm not sure if Severus allows people in his quarters," he said quietly. He was closing the door when he was hit with a spasm of pain causing him to almost fall. Draco caught him easily, but Harry flinched away causing both Harry and Draco to end up on the floor.  
  
"Sorry," Harry muttered while trying to get up, but failing and falling back onto the ground. Tears of frustration came to Harry's eyes.  
  
"Here, Harry let me help you out," Draco said while reaching for Harry's arm. Harry took a steadying breath and let Draco help him back onto the couch. "Christ Harry if I knew you were this hurt I'd have opened the door myself," Draco said as he sat on the couch next to Harry.  
  
"S'ok," Harry mumbled already drifting off to sleep. "Draco, would you consider yourself one of my friends?"   
  
"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"  
  
"Dunno, I was just checking to make sure you weren't like-" Harry stopped as he felt the tears leak out of his eyes. "Never mind," he mumbled.  
  
Draco put a comforting arm around Harry, and whispered softly to Harry, "I would never abandon you, remember that."  
  
After about an hour of Mrs. Weasley yelling at Ron, Severus asked if he could go back to his rooms to check on Harry. Albus said he should go and to bring Harry back so Ron could apologize.  
  
After saying the password to his room, he paused in front of the scene before him. Draco was silently looking into the fire, his arm casually draped around Harry, Harry, looking completely at ease, asleep.   
  
At the sound of the door closing Draco jumped causing Harry to awaken. "Harry," Severus said softly, "Albus would like to see you in his office." Harry said nothing, "Draco can come with if you'd like." Harry smiled a true smile. Severus could count the amount of times Harry did that on one hand, in fact, he could count it on one finger.   
  
On the way down to Dumbledore's office, Harry turned into a nervous wreck. What did Dumbledore want anyway? The gargoyle statue was already moved so Harry silently walked up the spiral staircase.  
  
He stopped dead in his tracks. Ron was in there. Harry tried to turn around and go back, but Draco pushed him forward.  
  
"Harry, Ron would like to say something," Albus said.  
  
Mrs. Weasley lightly tapped Ron on the shoulder, "Sorry," Ron muttered.  
  
"For?" Mrs. Weasley asked.  
  
Ron stared at Harry for a minute before answering, "I'm sorry for trying to rid the world of the son of a Death Eater. I'm sorry for trying to get rid of a Death Eater in training," Ron said bitterly.  
  
Harry's eyes filled with tears as he fled the room. Draco glanced at Severus and glared at Ron before following after him.   
  
Draco ran through the hallway looking for Harry. He found Harry in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. "Harry," Draco said, "Don't believe anything Ron said. Just don't believe him."   
  
Harry looked at him with tear filled eyes; "I can't. He was my first friend. He was the first person to ever be semi-friendly to me. And I-" Harry's voice broke.   
  
Draco attempted to put a comforting arm around him, Harry flinched, violently. "Sorry," Harry muttered, "I ruin everything. Go, Draco, just go. I don't deserve your presence."  
  
"No, I won't leave you alone,"  
  
"Fine," Harry said dejectedly, "I'll just go. See you tomorrow," mentally he added, 'maybe'  
  
The minute Harry left Dumbledore's office, Severus turned on Ron. "Mr. Weasley, I do believe I gave you a warning already. So that will be about a month's detention," Snape sneered.  
  
"But, that's not fair!" Ron yelled.  
  
"Would you like to make it two?" Severus said as he turned and left the room.  
  
When Severus reached his rooms, there was something odd; his door was wide open. Only one thing came to his mind, "Harry!" he yelled.  
  
No answer.  
  
Severus ran into the bathroom. Harry was standing in the middle of the bathroom with a knife in his hands. "Harry," Severus said, "don't do it."  
  
Author's Note: See this chapter is longer, its like five pages, eh... this chapter was slightly fluff... don't worry they won't all be like that... 


	16. Chapter 16

Lost and Afraid  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own any of it.  
  
Random Quote: "Shall I tell you what sociology teaches us about the hum race? I'll give it too you in a nutshell. Show me a man or woman alone and I'll give you a saint. Give me two and they'll fall in love. Give me three and they'll invent the charming thing we call 'society.' Give me four and they'll build a pyramid. Give me five and they'll make on an outcast. Give me six and they'll reinvent prejudice. Give me seven and in seven years they'll reinvent warfare." -Bateman, 'The Stand', by Stephen King  
  
"No one needs a hero once the world is saved." -Me (just wrote it)  
  
Author's Note: hmm... did anyone see any picture of Draco in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban? Man., he looks GOOD. hehehe   
  
Harry turned and looked at Severus, "Why? Just give me a couple of reasons. No, just give me one."  
  
Severus was silent for a minute, "What about Draco?" he asked.  
  
"He'll be sad for a bit, but he'll get over it," Harry said softly.  
  
"Ok, then, what about me?"  
  
Harry looked at him for a few minutes and then laughed, bitterly, "For some reason, Professor, I don't think that you will be too bothered. I mean you've known I was yours for almost a month and you know absolutely nothing about me, nothing."  
  
Severus sighed and gave a last ditch effort to save the boy's life, "What about Voldemort and the rest of the wizarding world?"  
  
Harry didn't even think about it, "Yeah looks like I can't off myself until AFTER I save the world... I mean I am The-Boy-Who-Lived after all. A good tool, but as a person, inefficient," Harry began to sob, "I mean who would bother to care for me. Once I defeat Voldemort, I will be essentially useless. No one needs a hero once the world is saved." Harry broke down into full out sobs.  
  
Severus went to the poor boy on the floor in his bathroom. He put his arms around the boy and whispered soft comforting words in his ear, until Harry calmed down and fell asleep.  
  
The next morning Harry woke peacefully, then, everything that had happened that night came flooding back to him. 'He'll be so mad,' he thought, 'I hope he doesn't use that against, me.' Slowly, Harry got out of bed, got dressed and walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast, not noticing that Severus was not in the room.  
  
When Harry entered the Great Hall it seemed as if every eye was on him. When he was halfway to the Slytherin table, people were whispering. When he reached the table Draco shot Harry a sympathetic look and handed him the Daily Prophet. Harry didn't bother looking at it but instead dug into his breakfast.  
  
"Harry," Blaise said, "I think you'll want to take a look at the paper.  
  
Mentally shrugging, Harry put down his paper and picked up the paper. He was surprised to see portrait of himself with his eyes darting back and forth. The headline read, "THE BOY WHO LIVED, A MUGGLE TORTURE VICTIM. Harry looked towards the head table and saw Dumbledore, eyes twinkling sadly. Slowly, Harry got up and left the room, eyes watering.  
  
Severus saw Harry leave and he mentally cursed every reporter in the world. How did they find out about Harry's summer? He quietly got up and followed the same path Harry had.  
  
Severus found Harry in the hall. Back against the wall, brilliant emerald eyes dulled to an olive. It seemed as if the life drained all out of Harry's eyes.  
  
"Harry," Severus said quietly, "I hope you that I will not excuse you from your Potions class today. I don't care what a ruddy piece of paper says. There is no way I'm letting you cut class. Because if you do, then I will have no way to dock points from Griffindor," He smiled to show he was joking, "Seriously though, Harry; make it look like it doesn't faze you at all. Don't give them the ability to hurt you."  
  
Harry looked at him, eyes full of sorrow and pain, "I'll try," he said softly before giving him a quick hug and going off toward his room. Severus stood there dazed; Harry had actually hugged him.  
  
Albus stood in his office pacing while mentally berating himself for filing a case against Vernon Dursley on Harry's behalf. He knew something felt wrong about doing that. He was about to curse the entire wizard legal system into oblivion when there was a soft knock on the door. It was Ron Weasley and Hormone Granger, "Yes?" Albus said.  
  
Hermione was the first to speak, "Sir, we were wondering if we could talk to Harry..."  
  
Albus looked at her for a minute, "And..."  
  
It was Ron who spoke this time, "We were wondering if you could arrange a meeting or something so we could talk to him."  
  
Albus stared at the students, studying them carefully, "Mr. Weasley, I do believe I arranged a meeting with Mr. Potter and yourself. The only thing you did was insult the boy. So if you will excuse me, I have work to do."  
  
Right after they left the office, Hermione turned on Ron, "Why would you do something like that?" she asked, "I mean, we abandoned him after all of that. I can't believe it. We're terrible people." Ron put a comforting arm around her shoulders.  
  
"He'll forgive us," he said reassuringly, completely oblivious of how wrong he truly was.  
  
Harry cursed himself as he dashed down to the Potions classroom. "Can't believe I fell asleep," Harry mumbled to himself. He got into the room just seconds before the bell rang. He was about to sit down when he realized that the only seat available was next to Ron.  
  
"Hey," Ron said, "How's it going?" he asked trying to pretend as if nothing happened.  
  
Harry's response was slightly less than a growl. Just then, Severus stormed into the dungeon, "Today, we will be working on a complicated potion. I feel most of you will be unable to complete the first step. Now, Get to work."  
  
Harry slowly began to chop the wormwood. He was adding it to the cauldron when the sleeve of his shirt rode up a bit. Ron grabbed his wrist and examined the scars carefully.  
  
"What exactly do you think you're doing?" Harry growled. While resisting the urge to rip his hand out of Ron's and hex the kid.  
  
"What happened to your arm?" Ron asked.  
  
"What does it looked like?" Harry snarled, "I mean, if your first friend in the entire world ditches you for some that you had absolutely no power over, what would you do? You know what, I don't even care. This doesn't matter to me any more," with that Harry picked up his books and headed towards the door.  
  
"Mr. Potter, what exactly are you doing?" Severus asked.  
  
"I'm leaving, what's it look like?" Harry snapped.  
  
"Thirty points from Griffindor for your tongue and detention for leaving class early."  
  
Harry didn't turn up for lunch after Potions and Ron was inwardly fuming. Why would Harry ditch him like that?  
  
Furious at Harry for leaving him like that, Ron followed Severus to his quarters and took up a silent watch, Harry would have to come out of his room sometime.  
  
Ron had to wait the rest of the day and part of the night until Harry would leave. Or at least he thought it was Harry. The person who left was invisible. Ron followed the sound of the invisible person's footsteps up to the astronomy tower.  
  
When Ron reached the astronomy tower he saw Harry and Draco. It looked as if Harry was crying and Draco was comforting the boy. Ron could stand it no longer; he WOULD confront Harry about this.  
  
Harry left Draco feeling much more comfortable with life. Draco had sent him an owl saying to meet him and Harry was glad he did. It seemed as if Draco really did care.  
  
Harry paused before entering his room to take off his invisibility cloak. "Harry," a voice behind him called.  
  
"What are YOU doing here?" Harry asked Ron.  
  
"I think the real question is what are you doing with Malfoy?"  
  
"I was talking to him. HE doesn't ditch his friends. Yes, Ron, you heard right, Draco is my friend and you are not."  
  
"WHAT!" Ron yelled, "So you really want to be a Death Eater then? Or maybe you just want a boyfriend?"  
  
"And you would care about either because.... Why? Oh, I know, you want Dra-" Harry didn't have a chance to finish as a fist slammed into his gut. The fist was followed by a few others that caused Harry to fall to the ground in pain. A few swift kicks to the ribs later, Harry was hardly conscious, but he was lucid enough to remember his previous beatings. "No, Uncle Vernon, stop. Please," he mumbled.  
  
Ron stopped. He just tried to beat the crap out of some defenseless, abused kid. He cast a Silencing Charm on Harry and turned to go back to his dormitory.  
  
Author's Note: ... eh... Looks like we're drawing ever closer to slash-dom. 


	17. Chapter 17

Lost and Afraid  
  
By: Angedelamorte  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it....(damn)  
  
Author's Note: Yeah sorry about the long time but I have like a hundred zillion graduation parties to go to.... BUT good news.. summers started so that means absolutely no school... so that means plenty of time to grow pale in front of the computer.....   
  
OH yeah! I saw Prisoner of Azkaban... the best characters were the twins with Draco as a close second... but the only reason the twins won was because that there were two of them :)  
  
Severus paced his rooms worriedly; Harry still hadn't come back. He was tempted to go out searching for him, but chose against it. He remembered the look on Harry's face as he left. The silent hopefulness of actually having someone to care for. He remembered what Harry had said, "Don't go after him and give him a month's detention. Please? I'll be back by ten-thirty, I swear."   
  
Severus paused his pacing as he heard a clock strike. Once. Twice. He silently counted the strikes until he reached twelve. "Sorry, Harry," he murmured. Mentally hating himself for probably ruining his sons night.   
  
He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the crumpled form of his son lying just feet from the entrance to his chambers. "Merlin's beard, Harry, why didn't I hear you?" Severus asked no one in particular.  
  
Quickly thinking, Severus brought out his wand and muttered, "Finite Incantatem," and was greeted with a soft moan from Harry. "Uncle Vernon, no, stop. Please. No. I won't-" Harry passed out.  
  
Severus gather the limp form of Harry, set him on the couch, and made an important fire-call to Albus.  
  
Ron entered the common room in a fury. "Ron, you know you shouldn't leave the dormitory so late," Hermione scolded, "I figured that once Harry-" she paused to glance at Ron. "I figured since you and Harry had slacked off last year you would learn some responsibility. I mean if you and Harry paid more attention to-"  
  
"Shut up Hermione!" Ron yelled, "Just shut up! Did you ever get the impression that no one cared? It's because no one does!"  
  
"Well, Ronald, I hope you know you've effectively chased away all of your friends. Why, sometimes you're no better than Malfoy or Snape,"   
  
SLAP! Ron's hand flung out and hit Hermione in the face. Hermione put her hand to the now bleeding corner of her lip.  
  
With a tearful glare and a flurry of brown hair Hermione was gone leaving an angry Ron to rethink his views of the world.  
  
Harry opened his sore eyes to a blissfully dark living room. He was again on the couch and Severus was with him. But this time he was standing silent vigil over the sleeping boy; not allowing himself to fall asleep.   
  
"We should stop meeting like this," Harry commented dryly, "What happened?" he asked oblivious to the condition he was in and having no memory of the previous night.  
  
Severus thought a minute before answering, "I don't know," he answered. "I found you right outside the entrance beaten and bloody."  
  
Harry's eyes grew wide, "I don't remember any of what happened," he said.  
  
Severus just stared into the fire, lost in his thoughts. "Are you mad at me?" Harry whispered.  
  
Severus looked at him, shocked, "Why would I be mad at you?"  
  
Harry just mumbled.   
  
While mentally cursing Vernon Dursley into oblivion, Severus grabbed Harry face and forced Harry to look into his eyes. Harry snapped his eyes shut. "Look at me, Harry." Slowly, Harry opened his eyes, "I would never hurt you. Ever."   
  
Harry was silent.  
  
The next morning, Harry slowly walked into the Great Hall; seemingly perfectly fine. 'Ah the powers of concealing charms,' Harry thought to himself as he took a seat at the end of the Slytherin table.  
  
Sparing a glance at the Griffindors, Harry saw that Ron and Hermione were sitting nowhere near each other. 'That's strange,' he thought. Looking back at Ron, Harry noticed that Ron seemed rather angry and tense. Just then, Ron raised his gaze to look directly at Harry and he smirked. He smirked.   
  
There was a clatter of metal as Harry dropped his fork and fled the Great Hall.  
  
Hermione's head shot up as Harry ran from the Great Hall. Concerned, Hermione followed after him, only to run into Draco. Draco just shoved her out of the way, "Move it," he hissed.   
  
"And why should I?" she asked.  
  
Sighing, Draco pushed past her and followed after Harry.  
  
They were searching for what seemed like hours but was merely minutes when they found Harry huddled in the shadows in the dungeons, sobbing quietly. "Harry," Draco said softly, "Are you ok?"  
  
Harry was silent.  
  
Draco reached for him. Harry flinched and mumbled something inaudible.   
  
"Harry, what's wrong?" Hermione asked.  
  
Upon hearing Hermione speak, Harry moved closer to Draco, effectively shielding himself from Hermione. "Leave," Draco said to Hermione in a cold as ice voice.   
  
Draco turned to Harry, "Harry, you can tell me," he said softly.  
  
Silently, Harry turned his wand on himself and murmured a spell. The concealment charm was gone. Harry's face was a mass of bruises. "What happened?" he asked. Harry shook his head.  
  
Cautiously Draco reached out to touch Harry's face. Harry flinched away violently. "Harry," Draco said , "Who did this?"  
  
Harry was silent.  
  
"Harry," Draco said, desperation evident in his voice, "You an tell me. You trust me. Right?"  
  
Harry looked at him, eyes tearing. Draco saw the truth in those eyes. "You don't trust me do you? Why don't you trust me?"  
  
Again, Harry was silent.  
  
"Well, when or if you feel you will bestow your trust on me, we'll talk then."  
  
Harry looked at Draco's retreating form and something in his throat unstuck, "Draco," he called out, "don't leave me."   
  
Draco turned back. "Can you tell me what happened?"  
  
Harry looked at the ground and muttered something inaudible.  
  
"What was that?" Draco asked softly.  
  
After staring at the ground for several minutes Harry murmured one word, "Ron."  
  
"Ron did that!" Draco yelled, "Wait until I get a hold on that-" Draco turned to Harry noticing that the smaller boy was practically in tears. Draco's voice softened, "Why did he do this?"  
  
Harry was silent for a minute before answering, "H-he saw me and you and he and-" his voice cracked as tears began to leak out of his eyes.  
  
"It's alright Harry, he can't get you now," Draco said reassuringly as he enveloped Harry in a warm embrace.  
  
An angry voice broke Harry and Draco from their hug, "Well, it looks like Hogwart's resident fags can't keep their arm off of each other."  
  
Author's Note: Yeah... don't kill me, its been awhile since I've updated. I'll update more soon. 


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